The Perfect Father

As I lay in bed wishing I had more time to sleep, the first sounds I hear in the morning are the words of my one year old Noah over the monitor. As you can imagine, these sounds are much more heart-warming than the buzzing sound of an alarm clock. My soul is filled with anticipation and excitement as I rush to his room, desiring to be the first one to see him, and open the door and say, “Good morning Noah.” As the smile from his face causes him to drop the pacifier from his mouth, he looks up at me and says, “Da Da”. Noah will then reach down and hand me his teddy bear that he sleeps with as a morning offering, as I quickly pick him up and begin kissing his face.

As I enter the kitchen my two other boys, Josiah (6) and Ethan (4), are usually eating their breakfast. As soon as they see me, they get down out of their chairs and run toward me shouting with delight the words, “Daddy”. I pick them both up in my arms and squeeze them tight while kissing their face and saying the words, “I love you.” What a great way to start my day. There are two great joys in my life. It is a joy to be a husband and it is a joy to be a father.

One of the reasons I have been able to be a good father is because I have a father who loves and cares for me. My father worked hard to always provide for me and my brother. He was our coach and our biggest fan at the same time. He was affectionate and verbally affirming by constantly communicating his love for us. His involvement in my life produced a deep security in my soul and helped shape my identity as a man. No, he was not perfect, but he gave me his best, and for that I am eternally thankful.

Unfortunately, my story of fathering and being fathered is more of an exception today than a norm. One hundred, fifty, or even thirty years ago the premise that a child should live with a father in a nuclear family was universally held. Father absence was considered a tragedy, and a father who left his children was considered unmistakably deviant. Not so today. Divorce when children are involved is well-accepted by more than three quarters of the (American) population. And there is a growing acceptance of childbirth without a father in the home, especially among the young.

Dr. Wade Horn said, “If we stay on the current course, one day the United States will be known as the country of the founding fathers…with no fathers to be found.”

God hates divorce because it breaks something up that He doesn’t want broken up: the family. God hates divorce because it devastates women when their husbands abandon them for other women, and vice versa. God hates divorce because it kills kids. It crushes kids. It extinguishes the life in their little emotional hearts. God hates divorce because He loves children. Children need fathers. God hates divorce because it sets in motion a destructive pattern for future generations. Adult children from divorced homes divorce at a rate four times greater than kids from homes where there was no divorce. When divorce enters into a family chain, it tends to stay there – unless Jesus Christ intervenes (Malachi 2:10-16).

Malachi 4:5-6 says, “See, I will send you the prophet Elijah before that great and dreadful day of the Lord comes. (6) He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers; or else I will come and strike the land with a curse.”

Today, I believe we live under a curse as a nation because so many fathers have abandoned their children and abdicated their responsibilities as a Dad. The men of this nation need an encounter with their heavenly Father, and as a result, our land will be blessed because the father’s hearts have been turned back to their children.

Happy Father's Day to all the Dads and stay tuned for Part 2 on "The Perfect Father."