Leaving a Godly Legacy (Part 3)

The third key to leaving a Godly legacy is the father’s identity.

15For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship.[g] And by him we cry, "Abba,[h] Father." 16The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Romans 8:15-16

In the fullness of time, God sent His Son Jesus Christ to earth to reveal to us what He ultimately wanted the world to know about Himself. The greatest revelation of God is not one of a judge. The greatest revelation of God is not one of a lawgiver. The greatest revelation of God is not one of a King.

Yes it is true; God is every single one of these depictions. However, in these last days he has spoken to us by His Son, whom he appointed heir of all things, and through whom he made the universe. The Son is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful word.(Hebrews 1:2-3).

God’s greatest revelation of Himself was disclosed to us through His Son. Jesus Christ, the Son of God, is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of His being, and the essence of God’s nature is that of a Father. In John 17:4, 6a Jesus says, “I have brought you glory on earth by completing the work you gave me to do. (6) I have revealed you to those whom you gave me out of the world.”

Jesus revealed to us the fact that God is our Eternal Father.

1 John 3:1-3 says, “1How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. 2Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when he appears,[a]we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. 3Everyone who has this hope in him purifies himself, just as he is pure.”

J. I. Packer in Knowing God said, "You sum up the whole of New Testament teaching in a single phrase, if you speak of it as a revelation of the Fatherhood of the holy Creator. In the same way, you sum up the whole of New Testament religion if you describe it as the knowledge of God as one's holy Father.

"If you want to judge how well a person understands Christianity, find out how much he makes of the thought of being God's child, and having God as his Father. If this is not the thought that prompts and controls his worship and prayers and his whole outlook on life, it means that he does not understand Christianity very well at all."

Deep in the heart of every child is the desire to please their father. Without a father’s affection and affirmation, a child will not be secure. Children find purpose and significance when they live to please God the Father. Dr. Ross Campbell, associate professor of Pediatrics and Psychiatry at the University of Tennesee College of Medicine, said, “In all my reading and experience, I have never known of one sexually-disoriented person who had a warm, loving and affectionate father."

Jamie Foxx, the actor portraying Ray Charles in the movie Ray, never had the relationship with his father that he wanted. His biological parents lived 28 miles away in Dallas, Texas, but rarely visited or noted his achievements.

“I passed for more than 1,000 yards, the first quarterback at my high school to do that,” says Foxx. “I was making the Dallas Morning News, and my father never came down. That’s weird. Even to this day—nothing…but that absence made me angry. It made me want to be something. I said, I’m going to make you look up one day and say, ‘That’s my son’.”

A child is not likely to find a father in God unless he finds something of God in his father. When a father spends time with their children, and when a father disciplines their children, the end result should be kids that live like Jesus as children of God.

If a child is neglected by the father, they will inevitably bear the image of the one who had the most influence on their life. When the role of the father breaks down the norms of that society break down because people lack the security that is found in a Godly identity.

The TV show "60 Minutes" ran a segment that tells us something important about fatherlessness.

The park rangers at a South African wildlife preserve were concerned about the slaughter of 39 rare white rhinos in their park. It turned out that the rhinos were killed not by poachers but rather by juvenile delinquents—teen elephants.

The story began a decade ago when the park could no longer sustain the increasing population of elephants. They decided to kill many of the adult elephants whose young were old enough to survive without them. And so, the young elephants grew up fatherless.

As time went on, many of these young elephants roamed together in gangs and began to do things elephants normally don't do. They threw sticks and water at rhinos and acted like neighborhood bullies. Without dominant males, the young bulls became sexually active, producing excessive testosterone and exhibiting aggressive behavior. A few young males grew especially violent, knocking down rhinos and stepping or kneeling on them, crushing the life out of them. Mafuto the gang leader eventually had to be killed.

The park rangers theorized that these young teen-aged elephants were acting badly because they lacked role models. The solution was to bring in a large male to lead them and to counteract their bully behaviors. Soon the new male established dominance and put the young bulls in their places. The killing stopped. The young males were mentored—and saved.

Leaving a Godly Legacy (Part 2)

The second key to leaving a Godly legacy is the father’s discipline.
He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him. Proverbs 13:24

Too many parents are not on spanking terms with their children. Leaving a legacy requires applying discipline. Without it, a father’s instruction is mere advice. Kids need to learn very early that wrong decisions lead to painful consequences. Every sin has a price. Pain administered through discipline is a persuasive teacher that delivers the truth home to a child’s heart. Every child needs discipline. Without it, their lives are lived without the self-control required to function effectively in whatever God calls them to do.

Too many parents seem more like their children’s housemates and friends than experienced adults guiding and shaping the young. Either unable or unwilling to take charge of their children, they are parents who are committed above all to remaining popular with their own children. They are able to ignore the most difficult parts of parenting—setting an example, and assuming responsibility for supervising and disciplining their children—and enjoy all the fun of relating to them as friends.

But when parents squander their moral authority, it’s the children who ultimately suffer, because they are deprived of the wisdom, experience, and guidance of a mature adult. In fact, today’s young people are far more open to parental supervision and guidance than their parents often suspect. Dr. Drew Pinsky says, “Kids now see their parents as something to help them. They feel this generation is there to help them enter adulthood successfully. They are looking for them to do these things they’re not doing.”

What is the purpose of discipline? Why are we to discipline our children? How are we to discipline our children?

Every father must master the art of discipline. The Bible clearly calls for fathers to carry out biblical discipline, and to fail to do so is to fall short of what God requires of us. But if we will apply loving discipline as the Scriptures teach, our children will grow up to be what God desires.

Ephesians 6:4 says, “And fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

There are five key observations about discipline from this verse.

First, fathers are to be the primary disciplinarians. This is because dads are the spiritual leaders at home. When we are at work or away from home, the responsibility of discipline is delegated to our wives. But discipline, nevertheless, remains our ultimate responsibility as fathers. The buck always stops with us.

Second, fathers are to carry out discipline on God’s behalf. We stand in His place to bring about the discipline that He requires. Thus, every earthly father is an extension of our heavenly Father in the matter of discipline.

Third, fathers must be under control when they exercise discipline. As men, we can have a tendency to be too demanding, too impatient with our children. So, God calls for self-restraint when we discipline our children. We must have discipline when we administer discipline.

A clear distinction needs to be made between biblical discipline and child abuse. Chuck Swindoll provides us with some helpful contrasts.

Abuse
Unfair and unexpected
Degrading and demoralizing
Extreme—too harsh, brutal
Tortuous—leaves scars
Results from hatred and resentment
Produces resentment of authority
Destroys self-esteem
Inability to determine right from wrong

Discipline
Fair and expected
Upholds dignity
Balanced—within limits
Painful—but leaves no scars
Prompted by love and concern
Produces respect of authority
Strengthens self esteem
Produces self-government

Fourth, fathers must surround discipline with instruction. Discipline and instruction must always go hand in hand. Instruction should both precede discipline as well as follow it. First, we should teach what is expected before discipline is ever applied. And we should teach after discipline is applied so that the wrong will not be repeated.

Fifth, fathers should consider discipline to be very important. Discipline is the systematic training of sons and daughters to bring them to maturity. Apostle Paul could have included any number of things in this verse about how to raise our children, but instead he emphasized discipline.Without discipline, our children will remain spiritually immature, socially unbalanced, and emotionally insecure. It is an absolutely essential part of their child development.

Tupac Shakur was an extremely popular, award-winning gansta rap artist. Brought up in a New York City ghetto, he personified the violent lifestyle depicted in his music.

Shakur spent eight months in prison for rape. He also survived a mugging, during which he was shot five times. Then, in the fall of 1996, Tupac was gunned down in a drive-by shooting. Six days later, on September 13th, he died.

Tupac: Resurrection is a documentary of Shakur's brief and tragic life. It is told through a collection of audio recordings and interviews given before his death, as well through his music, poetry, photographs, and home movies.

Tupac narrates the experiences of his early childhood. As he speaks, family pictures appear on-screen along with the words, "I blame my father, cuz he left me."

Tupac says, "My real father was a Black Panther. But when I was growing up, I never knew who my real father was, for sure. My stepfather was a gangster, a straight-up street hustler. My mom got a kid, but he didn't even care, 'Oh that's my son.' He took care of me, gave me money. But he was a criminal too—out there doing his own thing. And he came and brought me money and left. I know for a fact if I had a father, I'd have some discipline. I'd have more confidence. Your mother can't calm you down the way a man can. Your mother can't reassure you the way a man can. Your mother can't show you where your manhood was. You need a man to teach you how to be a man."

Leaving a Godly Legacy

The first key to leaving a Godly legacy is the father’s time.

Ephesians 5:15-17 says, “Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, 16making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. 17Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is.”

These verses challenge us to invest our time wisely. Nobody on his deathbed ever said: “I wish I had spent more time at the office.” Today, if anyone needs to maximize their time, it’s we dads with our children!

There are two key words from verse 16 that command our attention. The first is “time” (Greek word, kairos) which refers not to clock or calendar time (that’s a different Greek word, chronos), but to a unique opportunity within time to do something significant. It signifies a moment in time—a one time, passing opportunity—that is most strategic and pivotal. As this relates to fathering, the Bible is saying, “Take advantage of the time that you have with your children while you have it. You will never have this moment again.”

Kodak produced a commercial featuring a series of snapshots of a father with his daughter. As different pictures flashed on the screen, string music played in the background, while a singer croons, “These are the times of your life.”

Kodak did a phenomenal job depicting truth and capturing the reality of how quick our children grow up. Click, your child is born. Click, your child takes their first step. Clip, your child learns to ride a bike. Click, your child graduates high school. Click, your child graduates college. Click, your child gets married. Listen, the message is clear. They’ll be gone before you know it!

These snapshots of time with our children are quickly passing and are irretrievable and irreplaceable. The camera is clicking whether we’re ready or not. And there are only so many snapshots left on the roll. We must make every opportunity count!

In order to make the most of our time, we must cut out many good things in our schedule to make room for the best things.

Film maker Walt Disney was ruthless in cutting out anything that was good if it competed with what was best. Ward Kimball, one of the animators for Snow White, recalls working 240 days n a 4 ½ minute sequence in which the dwarfs made soup for Snow White and almost destroyed the kitchen in the process. Disney thought it was funny, but he decided the scene stopped the flow of the picture, so out it went. Only by sacrificing good things could the film be the best.

That’s how we must be! When the film of our lives is played by God on the final day, will it be as great as it might be? It will depend upon whether or not we eliminated good things in order to make way for the “great” things God wanted to do with our children.

Psalm 90:12 says, “Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” Wise is the father who maximizes his time and captures his opportunities with his children. We only have so much time, so we must make the most of it.

There is a second key word in Ephesians 5:16 (exagorazo), translated “make the most of,” which requires our attention. It means “to buy something out of the marketplace.” In the King James Version, it is translated “redeem.” The word was used in ancient times of buying a slave in the open market and by paying a purchase price. What Paul is getting at here is, we must buy up what opportunities we have with our children like a valuable commodity.

We must redeem these moments while we have them. No matter how mundane to us, they are very monumental to our children.

At the constant request of his young son, a busy dad took a day off to go fishing. It was just the two of them. Leaving behind a desk cluttered with unfinished business, the father drove to a secluded lake where they spent the day together fishing, rowing, talking, and fishing some more.

Throughout the day, all the father could think about was the pressing deadlines that he had left behind, the many phone calls to return, the projects to complete, the assignments to finish and the meeting to make.

Years later, their two diaries were discovered as each recorded what the day had meant to them. In the father’s journal was recorded, “Took my son fishing. Another day lost.” But in the boy’s diary, the entry read, “Spent the day with dad. It was one of the greatest days of my life.”

Unlike money, time comes to all of us in equal amounts. In fact, everyone has the same amount—twenty fours hours a day. However, we are all confronted with a wide variety of choices in our use of that time. In the final analysis, how we use our time depends upon our priorities. We must make the time for what we think is important.

A number of years ago, Dr. Robert Schuller was on a whirlwind book promotion tour, visiting eight cities in four days. It was an exhausting schedule in addition to the normal duties Dr. Schuller had on his shoulders as pastor of a large church. As he was going over his schedule with his secretary for his return home, she reminded him that he was scheduled to have lunch with the winner of a charity raffle. Schuller was suddenly sobered when he found out the winner of the raffle, for he happened to know that the $500 the person bid to have lunch with him represented that person's entire life savings. How did he know that? The person was his own teenage daughter.

The legacy will never be passed on to our children without the wise investment of our most precious commodity—time. Dads, buy up the time while you can. It is critically important that we begin today with this responsibility of preparing a legacy for our children. The best preparation for tomorrow is the right use of today. Time is more valuable than money because time is irreplaceable.

Let us begin with today because: They will be gone before you know it.