Leaving a Godly Legacy (Part 2)

The second key to leaving a Godly legacy is the father’s discipline.
He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him. Proverbs 13:24

Too many parents are not on spanking terms with their children. Leaving a legacy requires applying discipline. Without it, a father’s instruction is mere advice. Kids need to learn very early that wrong decisions lead to painful consequences. Every sin has a price. Pain administered through discipline is a persuasive teacher that delivers the truth home to a child’s heart. Every child needs discipline. Without it, their lives are lived without the self-control required to function effectively in whatever God calls them to do.

Too many parents seem more like their children’s housemates and friends than experienced adults guiding and shaping the young. Either unable or unwilling to take charge of their children, they are parents who are committed above all to remaining popular with their own children. They are able to ignore the most difficult parts of parenting—setting an example, and assuming responsibility for supervising and disciplining their children—and enjoy all the fun of relating to them as friends.

But when parents squander their moral authority, it’s the children who ultimately suffer, because they are deprived of the wisdom, experience, and guidance of a mature adult. In fact, today’s young people are far more open to parental supervision and guidance than their parents often suspect. Dr. Drew Pinsky says, “Kids now see their parents as something to help them. They feel this generation is there to help them enter adulthood successfully. They are looking for them to do these things they’re not doing.”

What is the purpose of discipline? Why are we to discipline our children? How are we to discipline our children?

Every father must master the art of discipline. The Bible clearly calls for fathers to carry out biblical discipline, and to fail to do so is to fall short of what God requires of us. But if we will apply loving discipline as the Scriptures teach, our children will grow up to be what God desires.

Ephesians 6:4 says, “And fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

There are five key observations about discipline from this verse.

First, fathers are to be the primary disciplinarians. This is because dads are the spiritual leaders at home. When we are at work or away from home, the responsibility of discipline is delegated to our wives. But discipline, nevertheless, remains our ultimate responsibility as fathers. The buck always stops with us.

Second, fathers are to carry out discipline on God’s behalf. We stand in His place to bring about the discipline that He requires. Thus, every earthly father is an extension of our heavenly Father in the matter of discipline.

Third, fathers must be under control when they exercise discipline. As men, we can have a tendency to be too demanding, too impatient with our children. So, God calls for self-restraint when we discipline our children. We must have discipline when we administer discipline.

A clear distinction needs to be made between biblical discipline and child abuse. Chuck Swindoll provides us with some helpful contrasts.

Abuse
Unfair and unexpected
Degrading and demoralizing
Extreme—too harsh, brutal
Tortuous—leaves scars
Results from hatred and resentment
Produces resentment of authority
Destroys self-esteem
Inability to determine right from wrong

Discipline
Fair and expected
Upholds dignity
Balanced—within limits
Painful—but leaves no scars
Prompted by love and concern
Produces respect of authority
Strengthens self esteem
Produces self-government

Fourth, fathers must surround discipline with instruction. Discipline and instruction must always go hand in hand. Instruction should both precede discipline as well as follow it. First, we should teach what is expected before discipline is ever applied. And we should teach after discipline is applied so that the wrong will not be repeated.

Fifth, fathers should consider discipline to be very important. Discipline is the systematic training of sons and daughters to bring them to maturity. Apostle Paul could have included any number of things in this verse about how to raise our children, but instead he emphasized discipline.Without discipline, our children will remain spiritually immature, socially unbalanced, and emotionally insecure. It is an absolutely essential part of their child development.

Tupac Shakur was an extremely popular, award-winning gansta rap artist. Brought up in a New York City ghetto, he personified the violent lifestyle depicted in his music.

Shakur spent eight months in prison for rape. He also survived a mugging, during which he was shot five times. Then, in the fall of 1996, Tupac was gunned down in a drive-by shooting. Six days later, on September 13th, he died.

Tupac: Resurrection is a documentary of Shakur's brief and tragic life. It is told through a collection of audio recordings and interviews given before his death, as well through his music, poetry, photographs, and home movies.

Tupac narrates the experiences of his early childhood. As he speaks, family pictures appear on-screen along with the words, "I blame my father, cuz he left me."

Tupac says, "My real father was a Black Panther. But when I was growing up, I never knew who my real father was, for sure. My stepfather was a gangster, a straight-up street hustler. My mom got a kid, but he didn't even care, 'Oh that's my son.' He took care of me, gave me money. But he was a criminal too—out there doing his own thing. And he came and brought me money and left. I know for a fact if I had a father, I'd have some discipline. I'd have more confidence. Your mother can't calm you down the way a man can. Your mother can't reassure you the way a man can. Your mother can't show you where your manhood was. You need a man to teach you how to be a man."