Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Family Matters: The Role of a Husband

God has made us male and female, and there is a natural, God-given chemistry between the sexes. When both husband and wife understand their biblical roles and function in them within the context of a committed, permanent marriage relationship, that chemistry releases wonderful emotions for one another that God intended for us to enjoy.

First, let us look at the role of a husband. Ephesians 5:25 says, 25” Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” The Greek word for “love” in this verse is the word agape, which is a word that is used in the Bible to define God Himself. “God is love (agape), and he who abides in love (agape) abides in God, and God in him” (1 John 4:16b). Agape has it source in God, and husbands can love their wives in this way only if that love is produced in them supernaturally by the Holy Spirit.

It is my opinion that most of our relational problems today stem from the fact that husbands have not loved their wives properly. It is a fearful thought to think that one day I will be judged by God on how well I loved my wife. What makes this quite fearful is the fact that my judgment will be compared to Jesus’ love for the church, not to my next door neighbor’s love for his wife. Even as I think about it now, I have to cry out for mercy.

It is a serious act to enter into a covenant with another person. A wife is to be the object of the strongest, most creative force in the universe, agape love, the same love that Jesus Christ has for His bride, the church. Here are some characteristics of agape love.

First of all, agape love is unconditional. This means that it is a “love without reason”, not conditioned on any behavior or quality of the loved-one. Did not Jesus show His love for His church by dying for us while we were still lost (Romans 5:8), dead in trespasses and sins (Ephesians 2:1), and totally depraved with no reason for God to love us with ourselves (Romans 17:8)? Yes, he did. This is the way Christ loved the church, and that is the way husbands are to love their wives.

This love is not, “I love you if…(you are sweet, you do things for me, you do what I say, you look pretty, you are intelligent, and you are thin). Those types of love are not love at all, but indicate a selfishness that is really saying, not, “I love you,” but “I want you and love me!”

No, agape love is “I love you in spite of…(your attitude, what you do for me, your attention to my needs, your looks and intelligence). It is a love so strong that you cannot resist it, nor can you do any thing to cause me to withdraw it, and it will capture your heart.

Secondly, agape love initiates. Jesus committed Himself to us on the cross in His humanity, without the guarantee that anyone would respond to his selfless act of love. In fact, he knew his closest friends would deny Him on the way to the cross. Romans 3:11 says, “There is no one who seeks God.” Jesus came after us when we didn’t want anything to do with him. In like manner, the man is the pursuer, the aggressor, the lover. He is the initiator, committing himself first in his love relationship with his wife.

Finally, agape love is sacrificial. Jesus is our perfect pattern for our task as servant-leaders in our families. Matthew 20:28 says, “The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.” Jesus did not please Himself, but continually gave His life away for others, culminating in that final great act of service, literally laying down His life voluntarily on the cross for His church. Men, this is our pattern of sacrificial love for our wives.

True joy and fulfillment comes from loving, and not being loved. After being married for almost ten years, I have found this to be so true.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Family Matters Humor

I thought you might enjoy some marriage humor before we dig deeper into Family Matters. God bless and stay tuned for The Role of a Husband.

WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee." Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says........."HEBREWS"

THE SILENT TREATMENT

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said:
"It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Family Matters

After my Mother's Day message, I had an interesting conversation with a good friend of mine. This gentleman grew up in a particular sect of Christianity that never emphasized the blessing of having children. He said, "If my wife and I had been attending your church when we were younger, we would have probably had more children." I must admit that I was surprised to hear he had never heard this preached in his church. Since family is one of our core values in Every Nation, I guess I assumed everyone feels like we do about the dominion mandate (Genesis 1:28).

This conversation got me thinking about the reality of what is being taught in our pulpits today. As I pondered this further, I began to become deeply concerned about the lack of Bible knowledge people possess when it involves the topic of family. This was confirmed to me today by another conversation with a lady after our service. My sermon topic was called "The Role of a Husband and a Wife."

As I always do after church, I was standing at the entrance/exit door of our facility to shake hands with people as they were leaving the service. I recognized this particular lady as a first time attendee and began to engage in a conversation with her. She was very complimentary of the message she had just heard. I enjoyed meeting her and thanked her for her kind words. Then she said this statement, "My husband and I had no business getting married." In other words, she was communicating to me that they did not have a clue about their roles and responsibilities as a husband and wife when they got married. Sadly, I know this is true for most people who get married in our society today.

Family is the first institution God created, and it is primarily through the family that God intends to accomplish his purposes on planet earth. Unfortunately, we have lived with the devastating results from the breakdown of our families in the 21st century. History has proven that good intentions are not enough to produce a healthy marriage. We must understand God's intentions for us in this divine institution if we are going to build healthy marriages.

If we are going to change the world, we must have strong and godly families. Our future hope for a better world begins in our homes. Over the next couple of weeks I am going to blog on Family Matters. Starting on Wednesday, May 31st, I will be writing on such topics as the role of a husband, characteristics of godly leadership in husbands, the role of a wife, misconceptions of submission, and hindrances to submission.

Please stay tuned. I will try to e-mail a new blog on these topics every three to four days until they are done. I appreciate everyone who reads my blogs. I hope you share my passion for family, and take the time to make sure you have an understanding of your roles and responsibilities in marriage. The majority of the points and thoughts come from Robert Andrew's book "The Family, God's Weapon for Victory." I have included some of my thoughts and experiences from nearly ten years of being married and sixteen years of studying the Bible on these topics. God bless and remember Family Matters.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

The Heart of Worship

In Genesis 22:5 Abraham said to his servants, “Stay here with the donkey while I and the boy go over there. We will worship and then will come back to you.” The first time worship is mentioned in the Bible is right before Abraham is about to sacrifice his son Isaac to the Lord. God said to Abraham in Genesis 22:2, “Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will tell you.”

Abraham went to the place God told him, built an altar, arranged the wood on it, and then bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood. As he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son, the angel of the Lord called out to him. In Genesis 22:12 the angel of the Lord told Abraham, “Do not lay a hand on the boy.” “Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son.”

Abraham earned a special place in history among God’s people because he was willing to give the Lord his best offering. How was Abraham able to offer his son, who he didn’t receive until he was an old man, as an offering to the Lord? Abraham was able to give his best offering because he had a heart of worship. The true heart of worship is giving God your best.

Throughout history, one of the main indicators of a people doomed for destruction is when they stopped giving God their best offering. We see this trait from the very beginning of man’s existence. Genesis 4:3-5 says, In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the Lord. But Abel brought fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The Lord looked with favor on Abel and his offering, (5) but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast."

The fat portions represented the best part of the animal, and the firstborn represented the best of the flock. Notice the difference between the brother’s sacrifice. Cain gave “some” of his fruits and Abel gave the best of his flock. The Lord was only pleased with one of the offerings.

Notice also how Cain responded to the Lord’s rejection of his offering. He was angry, and his face was downcast. Receiving God’s favor and pleasing him is the key to our joy and inner peace. Hebrews 12:2 says, “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Jesus gave his best, his own life as an offering, and was full of joy even though he was destined for the cross.

In the 21st century, your time and money represent what kind of offering you give to God? Time and money, more than anything else, reflect your heart. Are you giving him “some” or your best? If you are living according to God’s will and giving him your best, then you are a true worshiper of God.

I will leave you with Hebrews 10:5-7 on what kind of offering God desires today.

(5) Therefore, when Christ came into the world, he said: “Sacrifice and offering you did not desire, but a body you prepared for me; (6) with burnt offering and sin offerings you were not pleased. (7) Then I said, ‘Here I am—it is written about me in the scroll—I have come to do your will, O God.’”

May God's joy mark your journey as you worship, obey his will, and give him your best.

Monday, May 15, 2006

My Three Sons

Hebrews 1:3, 5 says, "The Son is the radiance of God's glory and the exact representation of his being sustaining all things by his powerful word. (5) For to which of the angels did God ever say, "You are my Son; today I have become your Father"? Or again, "I will be his Father, and he will be my Savior'?"

The greatest revelation we can have of God is that of a Father. Jesus Christ, as God's Son, came to earth to reveal the Father and do his work. When we gaze upon Jesus, we see the glory of God.

Noah William Miller was born around 1:30pm on Wednesday. He weighed in at 7 lbs 5 ounces. He is 21 inches longs and has a 13.5 inch chest. Guess what? He looks like his father. When you gaze upon Noah you see the glory of his dad.

Cindy had a classical c-section. She is in some pain, but overall doing just fine. She is the love of my life and my hero. You would have been so proud of her courage. The doctors said the day could not have gone any better. Praise God!

I am glowing with the joy of being a new dad for the third time. The third time is truly a charm. I have cried tears of joy and thankfulness at the birth of all three of my sons. I am always reminded in those moments how God rejoices over those who get born again by His Spirit, and become children in His kingdom. What an awesome God we serve.

James 1:17-18 says, "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. (18) He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created."

Thank you for your love and your prayers. We felt so covered in both of them. We love our spiritual family. Our parents have been a huge help and blessing. We love our parents.

I thank God my Father, who loves to express himself through family, for giving me his good and perfect gifts of salvation, Cindy, Josiah, Ethan, Noah, our spiritual family, and our parents.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Happy Mother's Day

She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family. Proverbs 31:15 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. (28) Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her. Proverbs 31:27-28

I am so thankful that God has blessed me with a wonderful mother. Her unconditional love and sacrifice to care, nourish and nurture me as a young child was so amazing. Mothers have the unique ability to make a house a home. There is no one who can do this like a mother.

As many of you know, we just recently gave birth to our third son. True to her caring nature, my mom is helping at our house as Cindy recovers from a classical c-section. One of the ways she is helping is by cooking meals. My mom is a great cook. I was telling her the other day how much I enjoy the Burgandy Poppy Seed dressing from Manna's restaurant. So, what does my mom do? She made a special trip to Manna's and bought me the salad dressing. Then she came over to our house and made me my favorite salad. That night I got to eat a great salad with my newly discovered dressing. All this was made possible by the love of a mother.

There are few assignments in human experience that require the array of skills and wisdom needed by a mom in fulfilling her everyday duties. She must be a resident psychologist, physician, theologian, educator, nurse, chef, taxi driver, fire marshal, and occasional police officer. And if she succeeds in each of these responsibilities, she gets to do it all again tomorrow.

Listen how Apostle Paul, Silas and Timothy describe their ministry to the church at Thessalonica. "As apostles of Christ we could have been a burden to you, (7) but we were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children. (8) We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us. (9) Surely you remember, brothers, our toil and hardship; we worked night and day in order not to be a burden to anyone while we preached the gospel of God to you." 1 Thessalonians 2:6b-9

To mother is to nurture, to train, to educate, to rear. We mother each other when we offer our concern, our care, our comfort. We mother each other when we see a need and rise to meet it whether it is a jacket for a friend who is chilly, a meal for a struggling family, or a listening ear for a friend who is hurting.

I want every mother to know how much you are valued and how much you are appreciated. Motherhood is truly a high and holy calling. Mothers, we love you. Thank you for walking so worthy of your calling. I will leave you with a great poem on how God the Father cares for us like a loving mother.

Oh gently lay your head
Upon my Chest
And I will comfort you like a Mother while you rest.
The tide can change so fast
But I will stay
The same through Past, the same in Future,
Same Today.
Oh weary, tired and worn
Let out your sighs
And drop that heavy load you hold
Cuz Mine is light.
I know you through and through
There’s no need to hide.
I want to show you love that is deep and high and wide.
For I am constant.
I am near.
I am peace that shatters all your secret fears.
I am holy.
I am wise.
I’m the only One, who knows your heart’s desires.
Oh gently lay your head upon My chest
And I will comfort you like a Mother while you rest. Jill Phillip, “I AM”

Thursday, May 04, 2006

What does it take to save the World? (Part 3)

Whether its terroists trying to kill the president, activate a nuclear bomb on US soil, unleash a deadly virus or meltdown a nuclear power plant, a significant part of the plot of "24" is that there is an enemy who wants to kill and destroy. Many people are currently enjoying season 5 of "24". There are five seasons for a reason. In the last hour of the last show of each season, Jack wins. Somehow he prevents the enemy from accomplishing his ultimate goal.

1 Peter 5:8 says, "Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." One of the characteristics I love about the Bible is that it addresses the reality of our situation here on planet earth. We have an enemy who wants to kill us. His name is Satan and he is the devil. The Bible doesn't promise a belief system that creates a perfect world. One of the things it teaches us is how to deal with evil.

The movies we hold dear to our hearts borrow from the plot of the Bible. Because of His great love for the church, our hero Jesus rescues us from the devil, and takes us on a great adventure to make disciples in all the world. Every story that moves us emotionally contains these essential parts in their story line. The story line includes a hero, an enemy, someone who needs to be rescued, a love story and a great adventure.

Take the movie Forrest Gump as an example. Forrest is the hero trying to save Jenny who needs to be rescued. The enemies are the men in her life. Forrest unconditionally loves Jenny, and Forrest lives a great adventure in his pursuit to capture her heart.

Jack Bauer is a great hero to the faithful viewers of "24" because he is so willing to sacrifice his life for the cause of saving the world. Once again, this is a borrowed plot from the Bible. Jesus said in John 10:10-11, "The thief (devil) comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. (11) I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep" (church).

On the show "24", I love how Jack Bauer uses many weapons to defeat the enemy. His weapons include the lastest in computer technology and a wide array of firearms. The simple fact about Jack is that he can use weapons and technology better than his enemy.

I find it so interesting when I examine the weapon Jesus used to defeat the devil, the greatest emeny mankind has ever known. Jesus used a cross. Colossians 2:13-15 says, "When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, (14) having canceled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away, nailing it to the cross. (15) And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross."

The Romans, through torture, had perfected capital punishment by using the cross. The cross was the place were criminals and the despised of society were sent. It was an instrument of suffering that assisted in executing the sentence of death. It was truly a curse to hang on a cross. The devil's favorite instrument of death on planet earth was the cross before the arrival of Jesus.

Only God could take such a heinous instrument and use it for something good. When Jesus hung on the cross he took the curse of sin and death on himself, and gave us righteousness and life. What a great exchange. Amazing! Jesus used the least likely weapon for good, the cross, to trick the devil and defeat him.

This is the final proof that Jesus is God. He took the devil's favorite instrument of suffering and death and used it to bring forgiveness, salvation, life and righteousness. 1 Corinthians 1:18 says, "For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." It took the cross of Christ to save the world.

The cross symbolizes a cosmic as well as historic truth. Love conquers the world, but its victory is not an easy one. Reinhold Niebuhr