Ten years ago, like most newly married couples, Cindy and I had many blissful thoughts about what life would be like married to one another. We knew we were the right ones for each other, and therefore, reasoned that married life would be one without contention and conflict. Three years into my marriage, I found myself still getting into major arguments with my wife. Like my six year old Josiah’s shoe laces after he has attempted to tie his sneakers, we would get ourselves stuck in strife unable to untie ourselves from the knots created by our disputes.
Our frustrations with one another grew to a point where we would even argue in front of our friends. One day, a sagacious older friend of mine, who had been married for over twenty years, was listening to us as we were quarreling. Cindy was in the kitchen and my friend and I were sitting in my living room on the couch. After a couple minutes of listening to our dispute, he leaned over to me while looking directly into my eyes and said with all the wisdom in the world, “Just say—‘I’m sorry’.”
Instantly, like a divine revelation from heaven, I knew he was right. I looked at him like a young child looks at their parents when they discover something new and lifted my voice and said, “Honey, I’m sorry”. Immediately, there was a peace in my house that had not been there five minutes earlier.
A few months later, on December 31st, I made a New Years Eve commitment to not always have to be right in my discussions with Cindy. As I examined myself, I realized that in my pride, I was more concerned with being right than changing to be a better husband. My marriage improved as soon as I began to acknowledge the occasions when I was wrong.
Stay tuned for part two of Getting Right by Admitting Wrong.
1 comment:
It's amazing what "I'm sorry" can do especially when you mean it.
I'm sort of the way you used to be, and I'm slowly realizing it now. Sometimes it's hard not to want to be right.
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