Family Matters: The Role of Husband (Part 3)

In part two we discussed how leadership is an important part of the husband’s role in a marriage. In part three, I want us to study five characteristics of family leadership that a husband should exemplify.

The first characteristic of leadership is decision making. Leadership, in the final analysis, is decision-making. Regardless of what is said, regardless of how things might appear, the one who makes the final decision is the leader. God holds the man responsible for his family, and for all the decisions that affect it, even those decisions that were made by the wife. Adam was accountable before God for the momentous decision Eve made to eat the forbidden fruit. “For as in Adam all die…” (1 Corinthians 15:22), “Therefore, just as through one man sin entered the world, and death through sin…” (Romans 5:12), “For if by the one man’s offense, many died…” (Romans 5:15), “Therefore, as through the one man’s offense, judgment came to all men…” (Romans 5:18).

Secondly, listening is a characteristic of godly leadership. Any good leader takes advantage of the insights and wisdom of those he leads, and leading a family is no exception. By listening to our wives and giving them the opportunity for input, we increase the chance of making a proper decision. The same is true for our children, as they grow older.

Thirdly, being considerate is a characteristic of godly leadership. 1 Peter 3:7a says, “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives.” A man should be aware of his wife’s needs. A woman was designed to be cared for by a man—first by her father, then by her husband. Because of this, God has given men the insight to know what their daughters and wives need, and then the ability to supply it. To do this well, men need to invest time, energy, and the care necessary to really understand their wives.

Fourthly, serving is a characteristic of godly leadership. Service is the only kind of leadership that is valid in family life. A man must look for ways to serve his family from a position of strength, as the decision maker. In order to do this well, his motive in leadership must be love from a servant’s heart.

The fifth and final characteristic of godly leadership is providing. God designed that the responsibility for providing the financial support for the family rest on the shoulders of the husband. Surprisingly, many men are pressing their wives to work in order to bring in the extra dollars to provide a somewhat higher life-style. This motive is selfish. In so doing, men are placing their most precious wives in the jungle that is the workplace; a jungle where many predators abound.

I am not saying a woman should never work a job. However, I do want to remind you that the most important job is the one done in the home. No one can make a house a home like a mother. Our family should be our first responsibility. Since the family is first priority, it takes a full time commitment to do it well. Family duties should never be neglected for another job or some higher style of living.