Leaving the Old to Walk in the New in 2007

The coming of a New Year stirs up so many thoughts and emotions inside of me. First, I am always amazed at how another year has gone by so quickly. Next, I think about the fact that I am getting older and closer to forty (I wander if I will have all my teeth when I turn forty). Then, I get a little sad because I really don’t want to grow up. Being young was just too much fun.

After I stare in the bathroom mirror for a while and grieve over the extra weight around my mid-section and the extra nose hairs protruding from my nostrils, I begin to get motivated at the thought of a new year.

It is in this moment that the thought of a new year brings great expectation. The 2007 slate is clean and it is a great time to dream. There is a tremendous hope in my soul that some long petitioned prayers will be answered in the New Year. The old has gone and the new is coming. I have not made any mistakes, I have not offended anybody, no one has offended me, I have not gained any weight and my nose hairs have not increased. So far, in regards to 2007, everything has gone right.

Being an idealist and an eternal optimist, there is always the thought that everything will go just as I plan and dream for 2007. However, history and experience has taught me that this is a very deceptive thought. Thank God I married a realist who keeps my head out of the clouds.

I have learned that there are three things you should do as you enter into a new year; evaluate, adjust and goal set. First, you should evaluate and examine the previous year. This is important because you want to learn from your experiences while they are still fresh on your mind. What did you do well? What could you have done better? Did you accomplish your goals? Next, you should make the necessary adjustments so you don’t repeat the same mistakes. Lastly, you should set attainable goals for the New Year and celebrate as you accomplish them.

As I am preparing for 2007 there is an extra sense of excitement in my soul. I have not been this inspired about a new year since Cindy and I first took over the pastoral duties of Every Nation Tallahassee.

I am so determined to walk in the new things that God has for me in 2007 that I did something radical. What I am about to tell you is a momentous incident in my life. I actually performed a miracle by throwing away my old work out clothes. Some of my shirts I have worn for the last thirteen years.

Cindy got me some new work out shirts and shorts and was appealing/demanding I throw the old ones away. I asked her if I could conduct a “work out clothes retirement ceremony” by inviting my closest friends and getting my old clothes framed and mounted on the wall for all to smell and appreciate. I did not get an answer so I took that gesture as a firm no.

Throwing away my old clothes and putting on my new ones is an external sign of three things in my life. First, I am leaving the old things of 2006 behind. Second, I am committing to receive the new things that God has for me in 2007. Third, I am dressed and ready for battle.

2 Corinthians 5:17 says, “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” One of the wonderful benefits of being in Christ is the fact that we get to experience the new things God has for us.

My prayer for you is that you would leave the old of 2006 behind and receive God’s best for you in 2007.

Happy New Year!

Hark the Herald Angels Sing—Glory to the Newborn King!

With the commercialization of Christmas and the busyness of travel and shopping during the Holiday Season, it can be easy to forget what Christmas is all about. Christmas should not be a holiday reduced down to the activities of hanging lights on our houses and in our yards, buying and receiving gifts, visiting family, and enjoying a few extra days off from work. Christmas is about remembering and celebrating the ultimate gift given to us by God. It is all about Jesus—He is the Reason for the Season.

Stuart Briscoe in Meet Him at the Manger sums it up best as he writes, “The spirit of Christmas needs to be superseded by the Spirit of Christ. The spirit of Christmas is annual; the Spirit of Christ is eternal. The spirit of Christmas is sentimental; the Spirit of Christ is supernatural. The spirit of Christmas is a human product; the Spirit of Christ is a divine person. That makes all the difference in the world.”

In Matthew 1:22-23 it says, “All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: (23) “The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel” –which means, “God with us.”

What an amazing thought that the Almighty God is with us. 1 Timothy 3:16 says, “16Beyond all question, the mystery of godliness is great: He appeared in a body, was vindicated by the Spirit, was seen by angels, was preached among the nations, was believed on in the world, was taken up in glory.

Jesus, as a baby in manger, for the first time since all of creation was seen by angels. Angels are beings who minister to the Lord and for the Lord. The Bible reveals to us some of their physical features. One of them is that they have six wings. This is significant because as they minister before the Lord they use two wings to fly, two wings to cover their feet and two wings to cover their eyes. Throughout the Old Testament no one in creation was allowed to look at the Holy God face to face and live.

Can you imagine how the angels must have longed to behold the beauty of God? Since the beginning of time, I bet the temptation to take a peak at God must have been inconceivable. With the birth of Jesus, now for the first time ever they could look into the face of God.

Cindy and I, as proud parents of three young boys, and pastors of a church that is birthing a ton of new babies, have personally experienced the excitement of gazing upon many new born babies. With the birth of each of our sons, there was a renewed excited to discover what they looked like. They got their gender from me and their good looks from Cindy—praise God! We also get excited to see the babies of all of our friends in the church for the first time. As we receive the news about the new births, we always ask, “Who does he/she look like?” Everybody gets excited to see a new born baby for the first time.

The Apostle John was also amazed at the thought of how he had the privilege of beholding this Jesus, the Son of God and the Word of Life. In 1 John 1:1-2 he writes, “That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked at and our hands have touched.—this we proclaim concerning the Word of life. (2) The life appeared; we have seen it and testify to it, and we proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and has appeared to us.” It was so astounding; he would spend the rest of his life proclaiming his experience with Jesus to the world.

Have you seen Jesus? If so, I trust you are celebrating and worshipping Him with all of creation this Christmas. If not, my prayer for you is that you would receive the greatest gift ever given to mankind--Jesus Christ.

Merry Christmas!

Embracing Your Season of Change: The Process of Change (Part 4)

The fourth and final component in the process of change is obedience. Obedience is the proof that we really love God and trust him. Since times of transition bring us into a place where we have never been before and reveals our own limitations and motives, obedience is essential if we are going to follow God’s will in our season of change.

Remember, Abraham obeyed and went to the place God was leading him, even though he did not know where he was going (Hebrews 11:8). Moses, though reluctant at first, obeyed God and became a great leader who God would use to deliver the Israelites out of Egypt.

In times of change, as apprehension or uncertainty begins to well up in our hearts, obedience to God’s commands is what should determine our decision making and direction. It is when we obey God that we discover the delight of doing his will. Psalm 119:34-35 says, “Give me understanding, and I will keep you law and obey it with all my heart. (35) Direct me in the path of your commands, for there I find delight.”

Obedience brings us into a deeper, more intimate relationship with God. It takes us from the place of service to the place of friendship. In John 15:14-16 Jesus says, “You are my friends if you do what I command. (15) I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made know to you. (16) You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. (17) This is my command: Love each other.”

I have met many people who are servants of Christ and do good works for him. This is very nice and a crucial part of the Christian faith. Sometimes our good works are a disguise for the fact that we don’t really know God intimately. The good works become activity that keeps us busy, but not fruitful.

However, friendship with God is the key to bearing fruit—fruit that will last. Abraham, as a friend of God, combined his faith and actions and offered his son Isaac on the altar when God tested him during his season of change (James 2:21-22). It was in this moment that God provided another sacrifice, a ram caught by its horns in a thicket.

Abraham’s friendship with God that manifested in obedience was a key factor to his discovery that God is our provider. Abraham’s offspring, his son Isaac, would be the instrument that God would use to bless all nations, because of his obedience (Genesis 22:15-18).

Because of Moses’ obedience, we are told in Exodus that he had a special relationship with God. Exodus 33:11 says, “The Lord would speak to Moses face to face, as a man speaks with his friend.” Moses’ friendship with God allowed him to enter into unique conversations with God, and gave him tremendous favor with him.

In Exodus 33, God is ready to take Moses into the promised land, but he wants to destroy the Israelites because they were disobedient. God tells Moses that he would bring him to the land he promised, but his presence would not go with him. Moses appeals to God and asks him to change his mind by allowing his presence to go with them. The Lord says, “I will do the very thing you have asked, because I am pleased with you and I know you by name.” (Exodus 33:17)

It was his close relationship with God that sustained Moses in difficult times during his season of change.

Emracing Your Season of Change: The Process of Change (Part 3)

The third component in the process of change is the obstacles we face. My favorite example in the Bible of a man who had to face obstacles in his season of change in order to receive the promise of God is Abraham.

There are three main obstacles Abraham had to face during his season of change. The first obstacle was leaving everything that was comfortable and familiar to him. The Lord commanded Abraham to leave his country, his family and his people and go the land that he would show him. The difficult part of this journey is that Abraham did not know where he was going. Few things are more frustrating than traveling to a destination without proper directions.

Hebrews 11:8 says, “By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going.” Abraham made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country (Hebrews 11:9).

Quite often, when we begin our journey into our new season, we don’t really know where we are going. This makes sense, because we are going to a place where we have never been before. We have no frame of reference or experience to guide us into this part of our destiny. It is an awkward and uncomfortable time. We feel like strangers in a foreign land. Nothing stirs up our insecurities like the feeling of being a stranger in a new place.

The second obstacle Abraham had to face was the reality of his own physical limitations. The Lord appears to Abraham late in his life, around seventy-five, and promises him that he and his wife Sarah are going to conceive their first child. Abraham and his wife Sarah were well past the age of childbearing. In fact, Hebrews 11:12 says, “And from this one man, and he as good as dead, came descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as countless as the sand on the seashore.” Like Abraham, we must face the facts that we are limited in our own ability to accomplish the purpose of God in our own lives.

The third obstacle Abraham had to face was the sacrifice of his son Isaac, the very promise of God. God used this obstacle to test Abraham to see if he really trusted in God. God will use the process of change to test our heart motives. Abraham believed God and obeyed, and got new revelation into the power and purpose of God.

Hebrews 11:17-19 says, “By faith Abraham, when God tested him, offered Isaac as a sacrifice. He who had received the promises was about to sacrifice his one and only son, (18) even though God had said to him, “It is through your Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned. (19) Abraham reasoned that God could raise the dead, and figuratively speaking, he did receive Isaac back from the dead.”

Why do we face obstacles in our seasons of change? Because God wants to use them to build our faith. Abraham was the first person on the planet to realize that God could raise the dead. As the patriarch of God’s purpose and the father of our faith, Abraham became a pattern for all who would trust in the Lord. His pattern taught us that the righteous shall live by faith in God. I often wonder if God gave Abraham, his friend, a sneak preview of his redemptive plan for mankind…the death and resurrection of his son Jesus Christ.

Embracing Your Season of Change: The Process of Change (Part 2)

The second component in the process of change is dealing with opposition. Since the purpose of change is to cause us to idolize God, form us into his image, bring us into his inheritance and to increase his ministry through our lives, Satan tries to stop this from happening.

Now let me clarify my theological beliefs before I continue. I believe in Christ’s total victory over Satan through his death on the cross, and His resurrection from the dead. The devil is defeated…no if, ands, or buts. I do not believe at all that there is a power struggle between God and the devil. The only power the devil has is that which we give him through our disobedience and sin.

Having clarified this issue, I do believe the devil knows his time on earth is short and he tries to bring as much destruction to the human race as possible. He exists to kill, steal and destroy our lives (John 10:10). Being a strategic adversary, one of the main ways he tries to destroy us is by opposing our seasons of change. Some of the ways he does this is through deception, temptation, accusation and opposition.

Apostle Paul faced opposition from the adversary as he labored to spread the gospel of Jesus Christ. In 1 Thessalonians 2:17-18 Paul says, “But, brothers, when we were torn away from you for a short time (in person, not in thought), out of our intense longing we made every effort to see you. (18) For we wanted to come to you—certainly I, Paul, did, again and again—but Satan stopped us.” Also, in 1 Corinthians 16:8-9 he writes, “But I will stay on at Ephesus until Pentecost, (9) because a great door for effective work has opened to me, and there are many who oppose me.”

Apostle Paul understood the victory a believer possesses in Christ probably better than any Christian who has ever lived. However, this did not prevent the fact that he still had to fight the good fight of faith.

Moses is another leader in the Bible who faced evil opposition in his season of change. God gave Moses the command to go deliver his people, the Israelites, out of slavery and suffering from Egypt. Moses goes with a promise from God that he will be with him during his mission.

At first, all seems to be going well for Moses. Moses and Aaron bring together the elders of the Israelites, Aaron tells them everything the Lord said to Moses, and Moses performs the signs before the people. And when the elders heard that the Lord was concerned about them and had seen their misery, they bowed down and worshiped (Exodus 4:29-31).

After this, Moses and Aaron go to Pharaoh and tell him what the Lord commanded concerning the exodus of the Israelites and this is how Pharaoh responds. Pharaoh said, “Who is the Lord, that I should obey him and let Israel go? I do not know the Lord and I will not let Israel go.” (Exodus 4:2)

Upset at this request, Pharaoh orders his slave drivers and foremen in charge to require the same amount of bricks from the Israelites while taking away their supply of straw. Pharaoh’s plan was to keep the Israelites busy through harder work so they would pay no attention to the will of the Lord. Not only were they forced to work harder with impossible demands, but they were beaten for their lack of production.

As the Israelite foreman appealed to Pharaoh about his impossible work demands, they realized they were in trouble because Pharaoh would not change his mind. After their meeting, they run into Moses and Aaron and say, “May the Lord judge you! You have made us a stench to Pharaoh and his officials and have put a sword in their hand to kill us.” Moses returns to the Lord and asks him, “Why have you brought this trouble on your people? Ever since I went to speak in your name, trouble has come upon this people, and you have not rescued them at all (Exodus 5:22-23).”

The Lord tells Moses to go back to the Israelites and tell them that he will bring them out from under the yoke of the Egyptians. Moses reports this to the Israelites, but they did not listen to him because of their discouragement and cruel bondage.

What a first day on the job. Moses faces opposition from his enemy and discouragement from his people in his new season as God’s chosen leader. Why does the Lord allow us to face opposition in our seasons of change? It is because he is developing his character, perspective and nature inside of us through this process.

Embracing Your Season of Change: The Process of Change

Now that we have learned about the purpose of change, I would like to examine the process of change. Process is defined as the course of action or proceeding, especially as a series of stages.

The first component in change is processing its overwhelming nature. When God calls us to his work, inevitably we have to make major adjustments in our lives in order to answer his call. It is the process of making these adjustments that can be overwhelming.

Quite often, I hear people say God will never give you more than you can handle. I know the saying sounds good, but practically I have found it to be false when it comes to answering the call of God. Don’t get me wrong, I know Jesus’ yoke is easy and his burden is light, and I have found that to be true as I have submitted to his will and labored in his work. However, the yoke and burden is something we can never carry by ourselves. That is why we have to come to Jesus to find our strength and our rest. Reflecting back on my life in times of significant change, God has always given me more than I can handle.

This season of change has been no different. Currently, I am adjusting to having a new baby, my third boy under the age of six. That is enough to keep me busy for awhile. On top of that, in August, I accepted the position of Vice President of Champions for Christ to oversee the college athletic ministry of Every Nation, and bring the national office and its staff to Tallahassee. Two months ago we started a church renovation project. And I spent last year going through a staff transition. In the midst of everything else going on, I am spending extra time helping my new staff members get acclimated to their roles and responsibilities. Also, I am doing a four week series on the topic of change. This requires about 10-15 hours of preparation of week.

You get my point? God has always given me more than I can handle. Why? When I find myself in these situations, it causes me to call out to God and seek him more diligently. I realize in these moments that I can not do it all in my strength. I must be supernaturally empowered by the Spirit of God.

Moses is a Biblical example of a man who felt the overwhelming nature of the call of God on his life. Let me prove it to you. In Acts 7:22 Luke says this about Moses, “Moses was educated in all the wisdom of the Egyptians and was powerful in speech and action.” Now let’s look in Exodus how this educated powerful man in speech and action responded to the call of God.

God gets Moses attention through the angel of the Lord appearing to him through flames of fire within a bush. God reveals to Moses that he is his chosen instrument to deliver the Israelites out of their slavery and suffering in Egypt. Not only does God promise to be with Moses on his journey, but he gives him some miraculous signs of proof. Some of these signs include turning a staff into a snake, and making Moses’ hand leprous and then healing it.

So how does Moses respond after seeing the burning bush and God’s miraculous signs? Exodus 4:10 says, “Moses said to the Lord, “O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.” The Lord says to Moses, “Go, I will help you speak and teach you what to say.” In Exodus 4:13 Moses says, “O Lord, please send someone else to do it.” Remember, Moses was an educated man and powerful in speech and action. What changed? I believe Moses felt the overwhelming nature of the call of God.

I believe that the overwhelming aspect of God’s calling is for one major reason. It produces humility in our lives. Humility is a great indicator of submission to God. It is also a key component to having close relationship with God. James 4:6 says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

Moses learned humility as he embraced the process of change. He went from a man who trusted in his own strength, to a man who trusted in the power of God to work through him. Numbers 12:3 says, “Now Moses was a very humble man, more humble than anyone else on the face of the earth.” Because of his humility and faithfulness, God spoke to Moses face to face, clearly and not in riddles, and he had the special privilege of seeing the form of the Lord (Numbers 12:7-8).

Thankfulness: Maintaining the Attitude of Gratitude

During rival week against the Florida Gators, you are guaranteed to hear many conversations in the gym concerning Saturday’s game. While working out on the shoulder press, I overheard a gentleman complaining about the current football staff at FSU. It's amazing to me how quickly people get negative as soon as we have a couple average seasons. "We need a new coach" or "Coach Bowden is too old" was the topic of the conversation.

I remember last year when people were saying the same thing about Penn State coach Joe Paterno. This year, Paterno coached Penn State to a 10-1 record and an invitation to play in the Orange Bowl. And guess who Penn State is playing? You guessed it--FSU. Only eight teams get to play in a BCS bowl game.

Not bad for coaches, who according to the arm chair quarterbacks, are too old. I just wish people would be thankful that we have a living legend coaching for the Seminoles. And do I need to remind all the complainers that he has more wins than any coach in college football history.

This leads me to my second point concerning thankfulness. Thankfulness protects us from a negative attitude. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says, "16Be joyful always; 17pray continually; 18give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." Notice that this passage of scripture says we are to be thankful in all circumstances, not for all circumstances. Seminole fans don't have to be thankful for losing a game. However, we can be thankful in the lost. We can be thankful no one got hurt, we can be thankful our guys played hard, we can be thankful that our coach has more wins than any other coach.

What are you talking about Pastor Ron? I'm glad you asked. I will explain it to you. As I said earlier, when we stop being thankful we become negative and critical. How can we demand a new coach when the one we have has won more games than anyone else? That is insanity. A thankful attitude will act as a protection against the dark forces of anger, criticism, unforgiveness, negativity, anxiety and fear.

Pastor Bill Bennot says, “Thankfulness creates a no stick surface in our souls, which prevents the negative fallout from corrupting our mind, will and emotions.” In this example, being unthankful for having the coach with the all-time most wins in college football produces in us a bad attitude. Would a new coach do better? Maybe he would or maybe he would not. But our current one has already done better than anyone in history. Hello!

John Henry Jowett, a British preacher of an earlier generation, said this about gratitude: "Gratitude is a vaccine, an antitoxin, and an antiseptic." What did he mean? He meant that gratitude, like a vaccine, can prevent the invasion of a disgruntled, discouraged spirit. Like an antitoxin, gratitude can prevent the affects of the poisons of cynicism, criticalness, and grumbling. Like an antiseptic, a spirit of gratitude can soothe and heal the most troubled spirit.”

Happy Thanksgiving and Go Noles!

The Power of Words

Michael Richards, who played the actor Kramer on Seinfeld, went on a public tirade during one of his comedy routines by calling African-Americans in the crowd the “n” word and shouting many other obscenities.

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me.” Remember that catchy little phrase growing up as a young person. At first, this saying seemed to be so true. How could something you can’t see or physically touch hurt you?

You can inflict pain by throwing a stone at a person or beating them with a stick. This makes sense. Surely air with sound in the form of language can’t be harmful. Life has taught us this is not true.

Proverbs 18:21a says, “The tongue has the power of life and death.” Once again the Bible’s wisdom is proven superior to human wisdom. Although words will never hurt a person externally, they always have the power to impact our souls with the power of life or death.

If words will never harm a person, why did so many African-Americans get upset over Michael Richard’s behavior? If words will never harm a person, why did the place where Richards was performing ban him from ever returning? If words are harmless, why would many people leave a comedy routine after paying money to be entertained? If words have no power and are harmless, why did Richards apologize to a national crowd during the Letterman Show for his inappropriate behavior?

The repercussions of Richards’ behavior remind us that our words carry tremendous power to impact people’s lives.

During his apology Richards, baffled by his outburst, tried futilely to explain his behavior. Dazed and confused he said, “I’m not a racist…that’s what is so crazy about this…it’s said…it comes through me…it fires out of me.” In other words, he was trying to convince everyone watching that he is a “good guy” despite what his words and actions were displaying for all to observe. His confused state of mind is called deception. I pray for God to touch Kramer and reveal Himself to him.

The Bible gives a clear picture of people who have not received Jesus as their Lord and Savior. Romans 3:10, 23 says, “(10) There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands, no one who seeks God. (23) for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” How many lies does it take to be a liar? You guessed it...one!

We all have sinned with our tongue by speaking words to people that are inappropriate and hurtful. James 3:2 says, “We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.”

Our tongue should be used to praise God and say kind things to people. Instead, we so often use it as a weapon to inflict harm on people. James 3:9-12 says, “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. (10) Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. (11) Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? (12) My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.”

Just as two forms of water cannot flow from one spring, and a fig tree can not bear a different kind of fruit, a person cannot be evil and good at the same time. By not repenting of our sins and receiving the cleansing that Jesus offers us through His sacrifice on the cross, we remain evil and our words confirm this fact by reflecting the condition of our heart.

In Matthew 12:34 Jesus says, “How can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. (35) The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. (36) But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. (37) For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.”

The reason we say evil things to people is because we have evil in our hearts. Have you received Jesus as your Lord and Savior and allowed him to change the evil condition of your heart? If not, it is obvious by the words you speak.

Like toothpaste that oozes out its flavor of fluoride as pressure is applied to the tube, the trials of life will uncover the good or evil that dwells within our hearts. Let’s learn from Kramer’s diatribe and allow God to remove in us that which does not belong.

Embracing Your Season of Change: The Purpose of Change (Part 4)

The fourth and final reason we go through seasons of change is because God wants the ministry of Christ to increase in our lives. Jesus said in John 15:8, “This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.”

The fruit I believe Jesus is talking about in this scripture is not only the fruit of the Spirit, but also the fruit of being a witness for God. There are two reasons God wants us to bear much fruit. First, it brings glory to our Father in heaven. Nothing demonstrates the reality of God’s love and power like a person who has been converted to Him.

Second, fruit is evidence that someone is a disciple of Jesus. People filled with God’s Spirit model a different behavior than people who are not. God’s Spirit manifests love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control in those who follow Him (Galatians 5:22-23). Also, the Spirit of God empowers people to witness for him (Acts 1:8). A proof that God is empowering someone is the fact that people are coming to know Jesus through their witness.

Since God desires that we bear much fruit, we are either being cut off or pruned to bear even more fruit. Jesus said in John 15:1-2, “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. (2) He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.”

On a vine, a useless branch is cut off by the vine dresser so the other branches can bear more fruit. I have observed this phenomenon in church life also. Quite often, it is seasons of change that spark this pruning process in a local church. In times of change, people who have not been fruitful usually end up leaving, while those who have been fruitful get promoted to new levels of leadership. Bearing good fruit is always a qualifier for promotion in God’s work.

It is important to note the difference between pruning and splitting in a local church. Prune means cutting away that which is dead and not being fruitful. Split means to remove by breaking, separating, or dividing, especially through discord, strife or quarreling.

Pruning is a work done by God that helps the church become healthier for effective work and growth. Splitting is a work done by people and it always causes the church to be less effective and shrink in size. We must not confuse the work of the Spirit with the work of the flesh, and we should never use Biblical terminology to justify our dissension.

Lessons from Leadership Letdown

The Rev. Ted Haggard agreed Saturday to resign as leader of the megachurch he started in his basement more than 20 years ago after its independent investigative board said he was guilty of "sexually immoral conduct."

Also, Haggard resigned as president of the influential National Association of Evangelicals, an umbrella group representing more than 45,000 churches with 30 million members.

It is never pleasant to discover a leader is living a life of hypocrisy, especially when it is a pastor. As a fellow clergyman, it breaks my heart to find out one of my brothers in Christ has stumbled. I hurt for Ted, his family, his church and all who have followed his leadership as a minister. I pray for all involved in this incident.

This is not the first time a spiritual leader has “fallen from grace” and I am sure it will not be the last. Unfortunately, I have experienced similar disappointments in leaders I have trusted in over the years. Instead of causing me to question my faith, these moments have actually strengthened my trust in God.

There are four lessons I am reminded of when leaders let me down.

First, I am reminded that nothing can be hidden from God. Hebrews 4:13 says, “Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.” God will expose and humiliate everyone who lives in hypocrisy, especially those who preach and teach his word. If there is anything thing we can trust in, it is God’s ability to divulge that which is false.

Second, I am reminded that not everyone is a hypocrite. When leaders fall it is not an excuse to deny Jesus and his teachings. He is the world’s greatest example of a man who lived a life free from pretense and deceit. Hebrews 5:15 says, “For we do not have a high priest (Jesus) who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet without sin.” Because Jesus lived a sinless life, we all are without excuse when it comes to following him as Lord.

Also, men like Joshua and Apostle Paul were true to their faith. Israel, under Joshua’s leadership served the Lord throughout his tenure (Joshua 24:31), and Apostle Paul expected a great award in heaven because he had faithfully served his Lord. In 2 Timothy 4:7, his final letter before death, he says, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”

Third, I am reminded that I am susceptible to sin. Therefore, it is my responsibility to feed my soul and make sure I am not getting complacent in my spiritual life. Because we have the potential to fall, Peter exhorts believers in Christ to daily add divine qualities to their faith. 2 Peter 1:10-11 says, “Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall, (11) and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.”

Finally, I am reminded of the fact that what we build with our gifts will be destroyed by our lack of character. God expects us to steward well the gifts and abilities he has given us. All gifts are from God and therefore should be used for his honor (James 1:17). Building our character is the greatest way to steward our gifts, and make sure we honor God with what he has entrusted to us.

In the instant messaging culture of America, we have grown accustomed to wanting things to happen quickly. Character is built over a lifetime. Faithfulness to God takes your whole life to prove and only a moment to lose. Jesus waited thirty years to prepare for three years of productive ministry. If Jesus waited that long, how long should we wait?

Remember: Give more time to preparation (character) than production (gifting).

Embracing Your Season of Change: The Purpose of Change (Part 3)

The third reason we go through seasons of change is because God wants to bring us into his blessing and inheritance. Abram is our greatest example of this in scripture.

The Lord would command a move to initiate change in Abram’s life. Genesis 12:1-3 says, “The Lord had said to Abram, “Leave your country, your people and your father’s household and go to the land I will show you. (2) “I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. (3) I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you.”

For Abram to receive his blessing, he had to be willing to leave everything that had been familiar to him. Not only would he have to leave his natural family and his closest relationships, but he would also have to leave his country. Abraham’s faith, his ability to be sure of what he hoped for and certain of what he did not yet see, allowed him to make such a move.

In Hebrews 11: we get incredible insight into what Abraham was thinking as he left all that was familiar and comfortable to him. It says, “(8) By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went , even though he did not know where he was going. (9) By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents as did Isaac and Jacob, who were heirs with him of the same promise. (10) For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God.”

God changed Abram to bring him into a relationship with him, establish a people he could bring his blessing to and through, and give Abram a great inheritance of land and people. One of the prayers Apostle Paul prayed for the church at Ephesus is that the eyes of their heart would be enlightened so they would know the riches of the glorious inheritance in the saints (Ephesians 1:18). God’s ultimate blessing and inheritance for our lives is the relationships we develop in him.

What is amazing about this story is that Abram, which means father is exalted, was childless and well past the age of childbearing at the time God visited him. God told him that if he would obey him, not only would he give him a son, but he would give Abram descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as countless as the sand on the seashore (Hebrews 11:12).

As proof of his promise to Abram, God gave him two external signs of the covenant he made with him. One sign was circumcision, and the other was a name change. God changed Abram’s name to Abraham, which means “father of many nations.” Abraham embraced his season of change and became the patriarch of God’s purpose, and the father of our faith.

Embracing Your Season of Change: The Purpose of Change (Part 2)

The second reason we go through seasons of change is to transform us into the image of God’s Son Jesus Christ. One of the greatest examples of a transforming change in the Bible is the conversion of Saul of Tarsus to Apostle Paul. His “blinded by the light” experience was the catalyst to launch him into a new season of his life.

Growing up in a Jewish family meant that Paul was well trained in the Jewish scriptures and tradition. At an early age he entered the synagogue day school. Paul eventually went to Jerusalem to study under the best Jewish rabbi, the famous Gamaliel.

As a Pharisee, Paul became very zealous for the traditions and teachings of his people.This zealous commitment to the study of the Old Testament laws and traditions is the background of Paul’s persecution of his Jewish brothers who believed Jesus was the Messiah.

While traveling to Damascus to arrest Jewish people who had accepted Jesus as the Messiah, a startling light forced him to the ground. Then a voice asked, “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me”, and identified the speaker as Jesus. Paul was struck blind and was led into the city. Ananias met Paul and told him that he had been chosen by God as a messenger for the Gentiles. After Paul received his sight, like other believers before him, he was baptized (Acts 9:1-19).

In this conversion experience, Paul accepted the claims of Jesus and the church, the very thing he was seeking to destroy. Both his conversion and call are reflected in Paul’s letters. In 2 Corinthians 3:18 he writes, “And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.”

His conversion brought a complete change in the inner controlling power of his life. It was like dying and receiving new life (Galatians 2:20) or being created anew (2 Corinthians 5:17-20). This experience of radical change and call to the Gentiles provided the motivation to travel throughout the Roman world preaching the gospel of Christ. Apostle Paul embraced his season of change and went from chief church persecutor to chief church planter.

Embracing Your Season of Change: The Purpose of Change

One of the greatest examples of going through a season of change is the story of the exodus of the Israelites out of Egypt. The angel of the Lord appeared to Moses in flames of fire from within a bush. The Lord revealed many things to Moses in that conversation including the reason he ultimately wanted to bring the Israelites out of slavery. In Exodus 3:12, God says, “I will be with you. And this will be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you will worship God on this mountain.”

The first reason God brings us through seasons of change is to bring us to a greater place of worship. We should idolize (worship, venerate, love excessively) God.

As I was having lunch the other day with a very successful businessman, he made a very interesting comment to me while I ate my order of onion rings. This gentleman, before retiring, had worked thirty one years with the same company. In today’s marketplace, not many people work that long for one company. He commented on how his longevity with his company gave him a unique ability to look back on his life and identify his seasons of significant change. He then told me that one of the keys to success is being able to recognize your seasons of change and make the right decisions as you evaluate what is taking place in your life. He also commented on how so many people ignore these seasons of change, and how it later comes back to hurt them in some major way.

Many times, a certain event in our lives can springboard us into a major season of change. Events of change can include marriages, births, deaths, job or career changes, church changes, graduations, salvations, divorces, moves and new relationships. I call these events “God moments” because I believe God uses them to get our attention.

God used the incident of death to get the attention of Moses. When Moses was forty years old, he decided to visit his fellow Israelites. During his visit, he saw one of the Israelites being mistreated by an Egyptian, so he went to his defense and killed the Egyptian. Moses thought that this event would cause the Israelites to recognize that God was using him to rescue them, but they did not. The following day, Moses came upon two Israelites fighting and tried to reconcile them. But the man who was mistreating the other pushed Moses aside and said, “Who made you ruler and judge over us? Do you plan to kill me as you killed the Egyptian yesterday?” When Moses heard this, he fled to Midian, where he settled as a foreigner and had two sons. (Acts 7:23-29).

Forty years went by before Moses had his burning bush experience in the desert near Mount Sinai. Wow, what a season of change! In a moment, God uses an event of death to trigger Moses’ refining process. While in the desert, Moses learned that God would not use the strength of man to deliver his people. As a wanderer, he learned humility. As the adopted son of privilege of pharaoh’s daughter, he became a foreigner so he could find a new sense of identity from God. While in the desert, he had two sons to learn how to lead the Israelites as a loving father.

As the angel of the Lord spoke to Moses in the burning bush, he was afraid to look and trembled with fear. Then the angel of the Lord told Moses to take off his sandals because the place he was standing, which was in God’s presence, was holy ground. Trembling with fear and taking off sandals are two signs of worship. It was the beginning of a relationship where Moses would learn to speak with God face to face as if talking to a close friend. As God initiated change in Moses’ life, it all began with teaching him how to worship. God would only use a man of worship to lead his people to the place of worship.

Embracing Your Season of Change

We are always in the process of change. It’s been said the only constant in life is change. God uses transitions to take us out of one situation, and bring us into a new and better one. Walking efficiently into our new season is the key to knowing God better and serving him more effectively.

Scripture Reference:

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forevermore. Hebrews 13:8

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:17

Point: God doesn’t change, so we must in order to become more like him.

Two types of change:

1. The change we initiate due to our unbelief, impatience, lack of perspective or bad attitudes. This turns into nothing more than aimless wandering.

2. The change that God initiates to bring us into a closer relationship with him, and out of that, a greater ability to accomplish his will for our lives.

Psalm 1:1-3 How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, Nor stand in the path of sinners, Nor sit in the seat of scoffers! 2 But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and in His law he meditates day and night. 3 He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water, Which yields its fruit in its season and its leaf does not wither; And in whatever he does, he prospers.

Point: The way we embrace our seasons of change today, will determine our fruitfulness/effectiveness in the future.

Living on planet earth, there are two things I have learned about God as our Creator by observing His creation. God is a God of order and change. Genesis 8:22 says, "While the earth remains, seedtime and harvest, and cold and heat, and summer and winter, and day and night shall not cease."

Think about it, you probably have an appointment scheduled tomorrow at a specific time in the day. You are able to set an appointment to accomplish a specific purpose based upon the fact that our days have order. The sun will come up the same tomorrow as it did today.

However, in the midst of all this order, there is constant change. No two days are exactly the same. God gave us climatic change, such as summer and winter, as an example of the constant change of seasons we experience as humans. Jesus is immutable, but his seasons of change for our lives never cease until we see him face to face.

Over the next few months, I want to focus on embracing our seasons of change properly. We will look at the purpose of change, the process of change, possessing the proper perspective in change, and the product of change. Stay tuned for the purpose of change.

Lessons from Lancaster County, Pennsylvania (Part Two)

According to World Magazine, “Authorities say Roberts left a handwritten note to his wife of nine years, saying he was “angry at God” over the death of their infant daughter in 1997.” This desperate note couldn’t explain Roberts’ depraved actions to the Amish community. Thank God the Bible can as it correctly identifies the sinful condition of man. 2 Timothy 3:1 says, “But mark this; “There will be terrible times in the last days.” This passage of scripture goes on to describe the actions of men in these terrible times as brutal.

2 Timothy 2:20 says, “ In a large house there are articles not only of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay; some for noble purposes and some for ignoble. (21) If a man cleanses himself from the latter, he will be an instrument (vessel) for noble purposes, made holy, useful to the Master (God) and prepared to do any good work.” Human beings are instruments (vessels) that will be used for good or evil. Just as God does his good work through people, the devil (Satan) also does his evil work through humanity. For this reason, it is so important we fill ourselves with God’s spirit. What is filling your vessel?

World Magazine reported, “The Amish community abhors violence and zealously attempts to isolate itself from the world’s spiritual and physical dangers. Their peaceful schoolhouse seemed the last place on earth this brutal shooting would occur. But the hard truth is settling over Lancaster County, Pa., that rings true for the rest of the world: Ignoring evil won’t keep it at bay.”

“It just goes to show you there’s no safe place….There’s really no such thing,” Bob Allen, a bookstore clerk in a neighboring town, told the Associated Press. Sam Smucker, pastor of The Worship Center in Lancaster, has a particularly strong connection to the Amish community. He told Word Magazine, “It’s really an indescribable jolt,” and then said he doubted most Amish, “ever thought they’d need security.”

In John 16:33 Jesus says, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

The second lesson is one of mission. Apostle Paul faced the corrupted state of man in the “terrible times” he was living in, and gave a charge to Timothy concerning what his proper response should be. He said to Timothy in 2 Timothy 4:1-2, “In the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who will judge the living and the dead, and in view of his appearing and his kingdom, I give you this charge: (2) Preach the Word.”

As followers of Jesus Christ, we are supposed to be proactive in spreading our Lord’s message and conquering evil. The Amish school shooting is a reminder to all that there is no neutral ground. No people group, no matter what type of culture they try to create, can escape the evil that is in the world today. The devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for people to devour (1 Peter 5:8). Six little Amish girls were his latest victims.

Jesus has given us salvation and a message to overcome evil with good: It is our duty, and therefore, our responsibility to aggressively preach God’s word. The Parable of the Talents teaches us that doing nothing with what God has given us is just as erroneous as doing wrong (Matthew 25:14-30). Instead of withdrawing from society, we are commanded and commissioned to engage culture with the good news of Jesus, and make disciples of all people (Matthew 28:18-20).

Who knows, as we actively share God’s word, He might use the power of our witness to transform a heart, and prevent the next person from killing his neighbor.

Is Radical Christianity Threatening?

Rosie O’Donnell, the new host of "The View," made an interesting comment comparing Christianity and Islam. On the September 12 edition, in response to fellow co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck’s comment that militant Islam is a grave threat, O’Donnell stated that "radical Christianity is just as threatening as radical Islam in a country like America."

Is radical Christianity just as threatening as radical Islam? I do agree that when both religions are practiced by their devoted followers, they have a threatening component to them.

Islam is threatening because its devoted followers live by the instructions of their prophet Muhammad to advance their religious beliefs by the sword. Anyone who would oppose or disagree with Islam is a target for death, whether by sword, bombs, or flying airplanes into buildings. Radical Islam is threatening to Rosie because a bomb might blow up the very building where she is employed.

Christianity is threatening because it holds up a standard of righteousness. For example, it clearly defines that immorality, impurity and greed are wrong. It also teaches that those who practice these behaviors will go to hell when they die. The thought of going to hell for sinful behavior is very threatening. Radical Christianity is threatening to Rosie because her immoral lifestyle leads to the eternal consequence of hell.

So, I do agree with Rosie’s comment that both religions are threatening. However, I totally disagree with her attempt to make the nature of their threats equal. Please allow me to explain.

It is true that Islam and Christianity both promote death. The instrument of death promoted by Islam is the sword. The instrument of death promoted by Christianity is the cross. Radical followers of Islam and Christianity both are willing to die for their beliefs. One teaches its disciples to “take up the sword”, and the other teaches its disciples to “take up the cross”.

Radical Islam teaches its followers to kill others in the name of Allah. Islamists use the “sword of man” to advance their agenda. For example, the world witnessed radical Islam on September 11, 2001 as planes crashed into the Pentagon and the World Trade Center. The radical application of Islam leads to the death of many people.

Radical Christianity teaches that love is dying for another person so they can be saved and free. For God so loved the world he gave Jesus to die on a cross, so that whoever would believe in him would not perish, but have eternal life (John 3:16). Christians advance God’s kingdom by the sword of their message or words. They preach the Bible even to the point of death. They don’t kill people for not believing, but are often killed by those who disagree with them. The radical application of Christianity leads to the salvation and freedom of many people.

One final thought, prior to Christian influence in the world, a woman’s life was very cheap. Find me one nation where Islam is practiced, and women in that society have equal status to men. History has proven that only nations influenced by Christianity have liberated women.

In ancient Rome and Greece, the opinion of women was not very favorable. Plato taught that if a man lived a cowardly life, he would be reincarnated as a woman. Aristotle said that a woman was somewhere between a free man and a slave.

Take India as another example. Prior to Christian influences in India, widows were voluntarily or involuntarily burned on their husbands funeral pyres—a grisly practice known as suttee (which means “good woman”). Hindus believed it was a good woman who followed her husband into death.

In the Middle East, women have been observed laboring in fields yoked with animals to a plow. It was the teachings of Christianity that elevated women to an equal status with men. Apostle Paul wrote in Galatians 3:28, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”

How ironic that women like Rosie O’Donnell do not give credit to Christ or Christianity; in fact, they say it has oppressed women. In reality, it took people with a radical commitment to Christianity, to elevate the value of women enormously. Without Christianity’s influence in the world, Rosie O’Donnell would never have the freedom, or the setting, to criticize the very belief system that helped liberate her status, as a woman, in society. Without Jesus, instead of talking freely on television to millions of people, she would probably be bound by silence to her thoughts, while living under a veil today.

The Three Men Behind One Great Horse

Behind every great story, there is always a special partnership in relationships. The story of Seabiscuit, one of the world’s most famous racehorses, is no exception. Seabiscuit was a national hero in the midst of the Depression when people needed a boost in their spirits. In 1938, Seabiscuit got more press in the newspapers than President Roosevelt and Adolf Hitler. Not only did he set a record for earnings, but he defeated the great War Admiral—a Triple Crown winner, in a head to head contest. Most horse racing experts consider that race to be one of the greatest of all time.

What made this incorrigible horse so successful? It was the three man horse racing team of Charles Howard, Tom Smith and John Pollard, and their unique ability, despite their differences, to join forces. Ecclesiastes 4:12b says, “A cord of three strands is not easily broken.” This group of guys became a three stranded cord that made American history.

Charles Howard was a successful distributor of Buick, National, and Oldsmobile vehicles for all of the western U.S. The enterprise made him incredibly wealthy. Fifty-six year old Tom Smith was a man of the Old West. During his career, he held such jobs as horse trainer, lion tracker and ranch foreman. The two men could not have been more different.

Author and racing expert Laura Hillenbrand says of Howard and Smith:

The two men stood in different halves of the century. Smith was the last of the true frontiersmen; Howard was paving Smith’s West under the urgent wheels of his automobiles. Howard was driven by image; Smith remained the Lone Plainsman, forbidding and solitary. But Howard was blessed with an uncanny eye for horsemen. He took one look at Smith and instincts rang in his head. He drove Smith to his barn and introduced his horses to their new trainer.

John Pollard was the third part of this unlikely team. Not only was he a rider, but he had been a not so good prize fighter. He was a very tough man. As a jockey, he was oversize at 5 feet seven inches. By the time he was chosen to ride Seabiscuit, his racing career had seen better days. His best riding trait was the fact that he was willing to ride horses that other jockeys were afraid to try.

Jesus said in Matthew 18:19-20, “Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done by my Father in heaven. (20) For where two or three come together in my name, there I am with them.” The business magnate, the frontiersman, and the prize fighting jockey, three people who had nothing in common agreed on one thing—a seemingly worthless racehorse. They became a three stranded cord as they focused on the one thing they had in common and not on their differences.

I pray we would do the same as believers in Christ, and make history to the glory of God. The one thing we can agree upon is Jesus is Lord and Savior. Let’s focus on him and join together in our differences to accomplish his purpose.

Two Are Better Than One (Part 4)

The fourth benefit of relationships is the ability they give you to do more effective warfare. Ecclesiastes 4:12a says, “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.” One of my favorite examples of teamwork or partnership regarding warfare is found in the book of Exodus.

God had done some amazing feats through his leader Moses. One astonishing miracle followed another: the plagues in Egypt, the parting of the Red Sea, manna from heaven, and water from a rock. Even though Moses had performed many miraculous deeds, he still needed the power of partnership to defeat the Amalekites.

As the Amalakites were about to attack the Israeli camp, Moses called Joshua, his military commander, asking him to lead his army into battle. As Joshua and his brave warriors were fighting the Amalekites, Moses climbed to the top of a nearby hill to hold up the rod of God in his hands. As long as he had the rod lifted in the air, God would grant them the victory.

With Moses hands raised to the heavens, victory seemed inevitable for the Hebrews. However, something began to happen to Moses. His arms got tired. The man of God who had led them out of slavery and through the parted Red Sea simply couldn’t hold up his hands any longer.

Without help, the Hebrew people were doomed for destruction. But two men, Aaron and Hur, climbed up next to Moses, stood on his left and right, and held up his hands until Joshua and his men were completely victorious.

The Hebrews won the war that day and, in the process, they were taught a very valuable lesson—even God’s most anointed leaders need others to help them accomplish His mighty work (John Maxwell).

God is looking for people through whom He can do the impossible—what a pity that we plan only the things we can do by ourselves. A.W. Tozer

Two Are Better Than One (Part 3)

The third benefit of relationships is the warmth that they provide you with. Ecclesiastes 4:11 says, “Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?” I know this passage of scripture is talking about the warmth of body heat that is produced when two people lie down together; however, I also believe it can apply to the warmth that is produced in our souls from our relationships.

The human relationship that warms my soul (and my body) the most is the one I have with my wife Cindy. We both love to cuddle, so we are especially fond of the winter months. I am so thankful for the marriage that I have to my wife. I can speak from experience, and there is no doubt that being married is better than being single.

When I think of Cindy, there are so many memories that warm my soul. This year we will be celebrating our ten year anniversary. Every year in December, I am reminded of that special moment when we committed our lives to one another forever. I am just as happy today as I was on the day I said, “I do.”

We love our summer vacations with our family. Prior to our vacations, there is such an excitement to spend a week of undistracted devotion on one another and our family. Every week we have a date night. Like a first date, I still get excited to be with the love of my life for a special evening. We love to go to dinner and a movie. At dinner, we often talk about how we are doing, our children and the church we so dearly love. Like a kid in high school, I always say, “I am happy to be with you.”

As we sit in the movie, I love holding Cindy’s hand. It is one of the most satisfying feelings just to be next to her. Quite often, we don’t even have to be talking to enjoy one another. Just the fact they we are together, like sitting out by my parents pool, is a heart warming experience.

Some of my favorite moments with Cindy have been in the delivery room giving birth to our three sons. Even though the births were painful to Cindy, there is nothing like witnessing the first moments of your children coming into this world. Nine months of questioning and talking about what they will look like is answered in an instant. I always cry after the delivery because I am so thankful for my healthy sons, and for the special feelings I have sharing something so unique with Cindy.

Two Are Better Than One (Part 2)

The second benefit of relationships is the support and encouragement they give us in our daily walk. Ecclesiastes 4:10 says, “If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!” If you live life long enough, sooner or later you are going to face adversity and trials. Sunday, August 20th, was one of the days.

Just after midnight, Cindy and I received a phone call from Clayton Bell communicating to us that they were having complications in their pregnancy. Kelly’s cervix was not functioning properly and the cramping she felt was actually contractions. Considering the advanced state of her conditions, there was only one procedure that was an option, and it provided nearly zero chance of things changing. Unless something happened, Kelly would go into labor within 48 hours, delivering a 21 week old baby that was much too young to live very long outside of the womb. The Bells went to sleep that night praying that our God would provide a miracle and allow the baby to live.

After checking to make sure that nothing had changed through the night, Kelly was placed on a medicine to bring about contractions. It was better for her health to have the baby quickly. After the doctor broke her water at about 4:00pm, Kelly gave birth to Grace Shiloh Bell at 4:45pm, August 20th, 2006.

Grace Shiloh, or Gracie, was beautiful and perfect. Small and too soon, she was nonetheless perfectly formed and so beautiful. They spent a little less than two hours with her while she was alive, and then she returned to her Heavenly Father, who graciously allowed them so much time with her. They love her infinitely, and cannot wait to spend Eternity with her creating all of memories that they won’t be able to have on this earth.

I will never forget my moment with Gracie. I felt I had looked into the face of eternity. In a moment of suffering, in her beautiful face I beheld the glory of the Father and the reflection of two wonderful and proud parents.

Grace!!!

And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. 2 Corinthians 9:8

Beholding Gracie, I was reminded of the grace of God. The grace that empowers us to do the good works the Father has prepared for us, and to run our race in a way to gain the prize of Jesus Christ.

Rest!!!

Therefore, since the promise of entering his rest still stands, let us be careful that none of you be found to have fallen short of it. Hebrews 4:1

Looking at Gracie's face, I was also reminded of the rest my soul longs for in being in the fullness of the presence of God after finishing his work and crossing the finish line of my destiny.Gracie fought the good fight and finished her race. I pray I fight and run as well as Gracie Shiloh to the glory of God the Father.

It was such a privilege to be in that hospital room on Sunday. Cindy and I got to pray for Clayton and Kelly and pray over Gracie Shiloh. After two miscarriages of our own, we were able to encourage them with the comfort God had given us in a supernatural way having gone through our own trials of birth.

Not only did we encourage the Bells, but they encouraged us. We saw the joy of two proud parents. There is nothing like the gaze of parents upon their child. Not that I needed any more proof, but my faith was strengthened as I saw the same supernatural peace and comfort in their souls that Cindy and I had experienced. I left the room grieving, but encouraged and peaceful that this situation would work out for good and to the glory of God.

I am so thankful the Bells did not have to go through that day alone, and we could share in this experience. As Cindy and I were leaving the hospital, we gave Kelly’s parents a big hug and reassured them that we would do whatever it takes to love and support Clayton and Kelly during this time. They were thankful and commented on how many people from Every Nation had been at the hospital that day. They knew their loved ones would be okay because they have great friends.

Two are Better Than One

Ecclesiastes 4:9 says, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work.” Gleaning from the wisdom of Solomon, let’s examine why two are better than one.

When you parent three young boys, every event or activity requires a plan of attack. Cindy and I have found raising three boys to be so much more enjoyable when we work together. This is especially true when it comes to getting the boys ready for bed. If I had to get all three boys ready for bed by myself, it would probably take an hour. Not only does it take longer, it is much more frustrating. However, when Cindy and I work together, we get the job done much quicker and easier. Together, we can have them showered and dressed in 5 minutes. I wash the boys in the shower with me and she drives them off and puts their clothes on. We rotate on reading them stories and laying them down to sleep. Our teamwork lays the foundation for a peaceful evening together. Two are better than one when it comes to parenting.

One of the best Bible stories about the power of partnership to accomplish a work is the story of Nehemiah. Like many Jews of his time, he had been uprooted from his homeland when Persia conquered Israel centuries before Christ was born.

Nehemiah was given an easy, but potentially deadly job, of tasting wine for the king. Though he was a foreigner, he lived in the palace, spent his days at the court and had great favor with the King. If he would have been content to just hold his position in life, he would never have discovered the incredible power of partnership, and would have missed the greatest accomplishment of his life.

After learning that his people were in great trouble, and his hometown of Jerusalem was broken down and burned with fire, Nehemiah was determined to do something. After securing permission from King Artaxerxes, he set out to rebuild the city walls of Jerusalem.

As he walked through the rubble, a passion burned inside to see his city restored. It must have been at this time that he realized the task was to big to do alone. He needed help from others who loved God and the city of Jerusalem.

Nehemiah gathered his fellow Hebrews and laid out his plan for rebuilding the walls. As one man they began this arduous task. As you can imagine, the rebuilding was not easy. To make matters worse, neighboring rulers opposed them and conspirators tried to stop them, but the people persevered. They worked side by side, laying stones with one hand and holding a sword in the other.

Astonishingly, the wall that had lain in ruins for years was built and restored in fifty-two days. This feat is one of the most remarkable accomplishments ever recorded in the Bible.

"It marks a big step in your development when you realize that other people can help you do a better job than you could do alone." Andrew Carnegie

The Liberal Baby Bust

I thought you might enjoy this interesting article from USA Today. God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it (Genesis 1:28). The birthing of children is a sign of life, destiny, blessing, prosperity and dominion. Over 25 new babies have been or or will be born this year in Every Nation Tallahassee families. His hand of blessing is upon us as a church. Thank you...Lord!!!

The liberal baby bust
By Phillip Longman
What's the difference between Seattle and Salt Lake City? There are many differences, of course, but here's one you might not know. In Seattle, there are nearly 45% more dogs than children. In Salt Lake City, there are nearly 19% more kids than dogs.

This curious fact might at first seem trivial, but it reflects a much broader and little-noticed demographic trend that has deep implications for the future of global culture and politics. It's not that people in a progressive city such as Seattle are so much fonder of dogs than are people in a conservative city such as Salt Lake City. It's that progressives are so much less likely to have children.

It's a pattern found throughout the world, and it augers a far more conservative future — one in which patriarchy and other traditional values make a comeback, if only by default. Childlessness and small families are increasingly the norm today among progressive secularists. As a consequence, an increasing share of all children born into the world are descended from a share of the population whose conservative values have led them to raise large families. Today, fertility correlates strongly with a wide range of political, cultural and religious attitudes. In the USA, for example, 47% of people who attend church weekly say their ideal family size is three or more children. By contrast, 27% of those who seldom attend church want that many kids.

In Utah, where more than two-thirds of residents are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 92 children are born each year for every 1,000 women, the highest fertility rate in the nation. By contrast Vermont — the first to embrace gay unions — has the nation's lowest rate, producing 51 children per 1,000 women.

Similarly, in Europe today, the people least likely to have children are those most likely to hold progressive views of the world. For instance, do you distrust the army and other institutions and are you prone to demonstrate against them? Then, according to polling data assembled by demographers Ron Lesthaeghe and Johan Surkyn, you are less likely to be married and have kids or ever to get married and have kids. Do you find soft drugs, homosexuality and euthanasia acceptable? Do you seldom, if ever, attend church? Europeans who answer affirmatively to such questions are far more likely to live alone or be in childless, cohabiting unions than are those who answer negatively.

This correlation between secularism, individualism and low fertility portends a vast change in modern societies. In the USA, for example, nearly 20% of women born in the late 1950s are reaching the end of their reproductive lives without having children. The greatly expanded childless segment of contemporary society, whose members are drawn disproportionately from the feminist and countercultural movements of the 1960s and '70s, will leave no genetic legacy. Nor will their emotional or psychological influence on the next generation compare with that of people who did raise children.

Single-child factor
Meanwhile, single-child families are prone to extinction. A single child replaces one of his or her parents, but not both. Consequently, a segment of society in which single-child families are the norm will decline in population by at least 50% per generation and quite quickly disappear. In the USA, the 17.4% of baby boomer women who had one child account for a mere 9.2% of kids produced by their generation. But among children of the baby boom, nearly a quarter descend from the mere 10% of baby boomer women who had four or more kids. This dynamic helps explain the gradual drift of American culture toward religious fundamentalism and social conservatism. Among states that voted for President Bush in 2004, the average fertility rate is more than 11% higher than the rate of states for Sen. John Kerry. It might also help to explain the popular resistance among rank-and-file Europeans to such crown jewels of secular liberalism as the European Union. It turns out that Europeans who are most likely to identify themselves as "world citizens" are also less likely to have children.

Rewriting history?
Why couldn't tomorrow's Americans and Europeans, even if they are disproportionately raised in patriarchal, religiously minded households, turn out to be another generation of '68? The key difference is that during the post-World War II era, nearly all segments of society married and had children. Some had more than others, but there was much more conformity in family size between the religious and the secular. Meanwhile, thanks mostly to improvements in social conditions, there is no longer much difference in survival rates for children born into large families and those who have few if any siblings.

Tomorrow's children, therefore, unlike members of the postwar baby boom generation, will be for the most part descendants of a comparatively narrow and culturally conservative segment of society. To be sure, some members of the rising generation may reject their parents' values, as often happens. But when they look for fellow secularists with whom to make common cause, they will find that most of their would-be fellow travelers were quite literally never born. Many will celebrate these developments. Others will view them as the death of the Enlightenment. Either way, they will find themselves living through another great cycle of history.

Phillip Longman is a fellow at the New America Foundation and the author of The Empty Cradle: How Falling Birthrates Threaten World Prosperity and What to Do About It. This essay is adapted from his cover story in the current issue of Foreign Policy magazine.

Freedom is Found in Serving

For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men. (16) Live as free men, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as servants of God. 1 Peter 2:15-16

God, as our Creator, made every person unique and endowed each individual with a special gift. 1 Peter 4:10 says, “(10) Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms.”

There is one common characteristic I have noticed in unhappy people after observing them for over fifteen years. Unhappy people are only focused on themselves. When we focus only on ourselves, we stay yoked to the things we feel will make us happy. We live a life of consumption. Whether it is a new car, new woman, or a new wardrobe, we spend time and money on that which we hope will satisfy. History has proven that “things” never produce true gratification. As a result, we live life depressed, bitter, angry or unfulfilled. The key to living a life of fulfillment is being able to use your gift to serve others.

I meet people all the time who are wandering aimlessly on planet earth wondering why they are here and what they are suppose to do. How many students attend college, earn a certain degree, and later discover they want to do something with there life that has nothing to do with what they studied. Going to college can teach you information and help you develop a particular skill; however it doesn’t guarantee you will have any better understanding of yourself. The key to using your gifts is being able to identify which ones you possess.

Therefore, we should look to the Giver of our gifts to grasp the true identification and understanding of the uniqueness of our design. After all, God made us, so he should know better than anybody else what gifts we possess and what purpose they should be used for. The key to discovering your gift is to know the God who gave it to you.

Something powerful happens in the human soul when we come to an understanding of who we are and what we are supposed to do. This understanding of our destiny produces a security in our soul. Only when we are secure can we be givers, and lovers of other people. When we are insecure, we stay in a constant state of fear and anxiety. This insecurity keeps us bound to the narrow focus of self. It is in this condition of the soul that self preservation manifests in our attitudes and actions. The key to security is to understand who you are.

Since Jesus was so secure, he exhibited a love for people who rejected him, sinned against him, and wanted to kill him. He had a joy that did not reflect his circumstances and the way people treated him. How could he function in this manner? He lived for others and not himself. The key to serving is love for others.

You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. (14) The entire law is summed up in a single command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Galatians 5:13-14

Family Matters: The Unfading Beauty of a Gentle and Quiet Spirit

1Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 1 Peter 3:1-4

Many women are taught that sexist men have subjugated them, and kept them in bondage, by forcing them to stay home and bear children, and that they must fight their way into the aggressive, competitive, business and professional world. Only by reaching the highest positions of power and influence in that area of endeavor can they find true fulfillment and meaning in life.

Is this assertive, confrontational attitude (so often necessary to be successful in the world) the attitude a Christian woman should have? It is obvious that many women have been greatly influenced by this kind of thinking. They have not realized that the real issue is not “What can I do?” but rather, “What does God say I should do?” A woman’s capability to work just as efficiently as a man, does not dictate the necessity of her doing so. Because she can develop toughness and competitiveness, should she? The Bible teaches a woman's true beauty and power comes from a gentle and quiet spirit.

As in every other area of life, we must look to the Bible to see what God says about character traits women should seek to display, and the role they play in society, family, and in ministry. We must bring our ideas about the subject into conformity with His, not expecting Him to put His stamp of approval on our “creative” ideas about how we can be fulfilled.

By the way, it is crucial to realize that a gentle and quiet spirit has nothing to do with personality. In fact the Bible tells us that all people, not just women, should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry (James 1:19). A woman may well have a bubbly, outgoing demeanor, but an attitude of submission and peace that radiates from deep within and expresses itself through the unique personality that God gave her. On the other hand, a woman may be quiet and seemingly very sweet, and yet be hard and rebellious in spirit, like a brick hidden in a paper bag. All women are equally capable of exhibiting the spirit that God seeks.

In 1 Peter 3:1-4, God is emphasizing what kind of heart a godly woman should possess. As her heart and attitude is right before God, it will manifest externally in an expression that will reflect Jesus. Hairdos, jewelry, make-up and clothing are not the issue. The point is women should not rely on the external things of life to make them beautiful. A beautiful woman is one who first and foremost is godly on the inside. Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised (Proverbs 31:30).

Family Matters: Hindrances to Submission (Part 2)

A third hindrance to submission is fear. Fear might be expressed in this way, “I don’t think my husband can be trusted with my life, the lives of my children, and the future of our family. I am afraid he cannot handle the responsibility if I really submit to him and help to establish him as the leader of our home.” In submitting to her husband, a woman recognizes that she is submitting to God and trusting Him as the power behind her husband.

Another fear might be expressed like this: “I am afraid if I really yield myself to my husband, I will lose my life.” True life and purpose is found when we live to please and serve another. A marriage relationship should be the place we model “dying to self to live for another.” Only this attitude, which should first be modeled by the husband, can manifest in selfless behavior. Desperately holding on to your life by refusing to submit to your husband means missing the life and glory God has for you.

The fourth hindrance to biblical submission is individualism. The spirit of individualism, or independence, is everywhere in the world today, and many Christian women have imbibed of it. It is a very subtle thing, and can be seen in a woman’s desire for a career apart from her husband (nothing wrong for a woman to work), or her desire to keep her maiden name after marriage, and can even masquerade as a personal “call” to a particular ministry.

The “pride of life” to which Eve succumbed in the Garden of Eden was really nothing more than this spirit of individualism, this desire to be something apart from God and His divine order, to be wise, to know all that God knows. Its fruit is a delusion, for the promised independence is nothing more than submission to a different head—Satan. We are all “slaves to whom we obey, whether of sin and death, or of obedience to righteousness” (Romans 6:16). 1 Peter 2:19b says, “For a man or woman is a slave to whatever has mastered them.” Eve discovered slavery to sin (independence) much more demanding than obedience to God and His law.

Family Matters: Hindrances to Submission (Part 1)

21Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Ephesians 5:21-24

The first hindrance to submission is godly leadership is so rarely modeled by husbands in our society today. We are all influenced by the situations we grew up in or the paradigms we have experienced. Unfortunately, a majority of young women had a father who was lazy, selfish or too busy to spend time with the family. They might have had a father who was verbally or physically abusive to their mother. Also, many single women have married friends and have observed how their husband does anything but love them and serve them like Christ. Bad examples of leadership can be a real hindrance to submission.

The second hindrance to submission that a wife must face as she attempts to obey God and submit herself to her husband is the prevailing feminist culture of our day. Every day she is bombarded with voices from every quarter telling her to be her own person, seek her own life, have her own career, and be independent of her husband. Examples of successful career women who answer to no man are held up as the only women who are being fulfilled as persons. Those who preach this message fail to understand that being under proper functioning authority actually frees a woman to develop all the gifts and abilities God has given her in a way that will preserve her feminine uniqueness as a woman. Once again, there is nothing wrong with a woman who works a job. However, this should not be done at the expense of fulfilling your roles as a wife and mother in your family.

Family Matters: Misconceptions of Submission (Part 2)

Another misconception many women have is that submission is a contest, “If he is stronger than I am, I will submit to him. If he is not, I won’t.” Strength of will is not exclusively a male characteristic. Women often have a stronger will than their husbands. However, they can establish their husbands as leaders by their willingness to submit to them. They can make it easy for their husbands to lead, or they can make it extremely difficult, depending on their understanding of their biblical role. Submission is not a contest, with leadership going to the strongest marriage partner.

A final misconception is that submission is dependent on right decision making. “I will submit to him as long as he is right, but if he makes a stupid decision, I reserve the right to make the final one.” Submission is not a matter of right or wrong. His decisions should be the ones that God has decreed, and should determine the direction of the family. If he is wrong, God will hold him accountable and deal with him. His wife must trust the Lord to guide her husband. This requires faith in God. The husband and wife should pray and discover God's will for the family together. The wife can be a valuable source of discernment and wisdom in decision making.

I want to emphasize that as we submit to God’s delegated leadership, we can trust that the Lord will work all things out for good. God is a God of order and his delegated leadership should bring his will and way in the different positions they serve. We can trust God that if his leadership is not fulfilling their duties properly, God will remove them from their position. We can trust because God is just. What is so important in this process is the understanding of our roles as husband and wife. I hope this has helped you work as a team in your marriage.

Family Matters: Misconceptions of Submission

21Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Ephesians 5:21-24

Just as we respond to Christ’s love for us, a wife who wants to obey God will respond to her husband if he is leading properly. Built in her by God is a desire to give herself to a strong, decisive man who is laying down his life for her. Unfortunately, much of the emphasis on a wife’s submission has neglected the husband’s responsibility to love and lead his wife. God can require our submission to his will because he is love and righteous. This means his motives and his actions are always right. Husbands are to model their leadership after Christ. Their motive should be love and their actions should manifest in service to their wives.

Today, there are many misconceptions as to what submitting to your husband means. It does not mean being a doormat for a physically or verbally abusive man who is using his wife for himself. If the situation at home becomes unbearable, or there is a reason to fear for safety of family members, the wife should say to her husband, “I love you and want to be your wife, but not under these conditions. When you have gotten some help and can lead well in our family, I will return.”

Leaving is often the only thing that will get the attention of the abusive husband, and properly done is far more biblical and effective than verbally badgering him. Obviously, the details of how this will work vary in every situation. Still, the principle is that a woman does not have to remain in an untenable situation because of some ill-conceived notion of “submission.” The husband should be held accountable to fulfill the vows he made to God and his wife. When he no longer fulfills his vows to lead, love and serve his wife, he forfeits her responsibility to submit and follow.

Family Matters: The Result of Disobedience

In part four of family matters I want to study how the curse for Adam and Eve's disobedience has affected the husband and wife relationship.

(16) To the woman God said, “I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.” (17) To Adam God said, “Because you listened to your wife and ate from the tree about which I commanded you, ‘You must not eat of it,’ “Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life. (18) It will produce thorns and thistles for you, and you will eat the plants of the field. (19)By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return.” (Genesis 3:16-19)

For Eve, the first result of the curse was increased pain in childbirth. The effects of the family have even impacted my family today. My wife Cindy just gave birth to our third son Noah. All three of her pregnancies have resulted in c-sections, with this last one being a classical c-section. As a result, she now has an upside down T on her stomach. Her scars remind us of the fact that through pain our children came into the world. Because of the three c-sections and the pain involved, we are not sure if we are going to have any more children. The scars could be the determining factor. Both Cindy and I feel that having children has been the greatest blessing of our marriage. I wish we could have experienced birthing our children without the scars. However, the scars make us appreciate them even more.

After telling Eve she will have pain in childbirth, God says, “Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.” (Genesis 3:16) The Hebrew word for “desire,” teshugah, is used another time in the Bible, and that is in the next chapter of Genesis. God warns Cain before he kills his brother Abel, “And, if you do not do well, sin lies at the door, and its desire is for you, but you should rule over it” (Genesis 4:7)

Sins desire was to control, or capture, Cain, and indeed it did. In the same way, as a result of God’s curse, a woman can be tempted to control her husband, to contest his leadership, to run the family if she can.

Biblical history records several instances of this feminine penchant for control; Sarah’s attempt to use Hagar to “help” God fulfill His promise to Abraham (Genesis 16); Rebekah’s deceit in tricking Isaac into giving his blessing to Jacob instead of Esau (Genesis 27); Rachel and Leah’s manipulations of Jacob and Laban (Genesis 30,31); and Jezebel, the wife of King Ahab, who led her husband into idolatry, and in essence ruled Israel through him (1 Kings 16:29-34,19,21). In Revelation 2, Jezebel is again mentioned, this time as a feminine religious spirit who has gained control, and who has led astray the church in Thyatira. In the 21st century, when people are very open to spiritual matters, a book like DaVinci Code is written to promote the worship of the sacred feminine.

How did the curse affect the leadership role of the man? It is interesting to note that “painful toil” was the curse given to Adam. In our society today, think about how many men are consumed with their jobs in the “dog eat dog” marketplace. They spend so much of their strength at work, they don’t have the time and energy to effectively love and serve their wives at home. Their wives become frustrated, hurt and bitter because they now have to fulfill two roles in the family. For women, this fuels the fire for control in the family.

The “curse of painful toil” that produces a passivity and neglect of family leadership in men fits together with the desire of a woman to control like a hand in a glove. Fallen men tend to want someone else to take the responsibility for the leadership of the family, and their wives step right up to do so. Neither understands that the pattern they are following is a result of sin, and God wants to reverse that curse in Jesus Christ, restoring His divine order.

Family Matters: The Role of a Wife (Part 2)

Secondly, after loving him by submitting to his headship, a wife is to love her husband personally. Paul says in Ephesians 5:33, “…and let the wife see that she respects her husband. In the same way that men are told to be considerate to their wives, (1 Peter 3:7) wives need to be respectful and understanding to their husbands.

A wise woman has respect for her husband’s manhood. A man has to lead his family, provide for them, and protect them. All these things require strength and confidence to accomplish. It is necessary for him to go out into the world to confront and conquer whatever obstacles there are to his family’s welfare. Without strength and confidence, he will be defeated.

Men are task and goal oriented from an early age. It is in the relationship with his wife that a man learns valuable lessons in how to have personal relationships. Have you noticed how little girls giggle (relate) and little boys tussle (compete). A wise woman will affirm her husband, not demean him, because she will understand that it strengthens him for his vital work of taking his responsibilities as a husband.

Nothing is more debilitating to a man than having his wife be disparaging about his manhood. A wife’s role is to continue to encourage her husband and affirm his manhood in healthy ways through love.